Last week, my husband and I were with our homeschool friends Amy and Brad. My husband has been on a kick lately of telling me to send Ginger to school. Partially because he believes it and mostly because he likes to annoy me. Amy and Brad know my husband likes to yank my chain (a lot!!) so they mostly just laughed at him but also tried to set him straight!
I have sort of become anti-school. If my older kids decided to go to school I would support them but I would have a really hard time with all the rules and regulations that I guess need to be in place for crowd control reasons. The homework–what the heck do they do in school all day that they need to do more when they get home???? Grades? You are “smart” if you get good grades (know how to work the system) or your dumb and lazy (bored) if you don’t get good grades. Arbitrary awards like pizza parties for being quiet and getting high test scores? Now that’s a true love of learning not just a love of pizza! The longer my kids are home, the more happy I am with the choices we (I) have made. I am pretty sure I have become one of those homeschooling snobs. I’m sorry. I don’t really look down on you, but I do feel my kids are lucky. They have it pretty good. Obviously, I don’t hold book smarts high on the list of proof of being “smart” or proof of getting a good education. (Right here insert my super excitement to see John Taylor Gatto at our Annual Unschooling Conference in Feb!!!!!!!!!!)
I certainly wouldn’t tell someone that was thinking about homeschooling that it’s easy or the perfect choice. My kids don’t cooperate all the time or get along well even 50% of the time.But they are in command of their time, their choices and their learning the majority of the day. And by learning I don’t mean workbooks or texts. I mean real life learning. Part of being an unschooler is living a rich life. Which is one of the not so easy parts of being an unschooling parent.
What does that mean, to live a rich life? For years I struggled with thinking we needed to move to a farm or my kids needed to have deep seeded interests that took them passionately to the library to research their interests or mentors and daily lessons in music or dance. But the reality is that most kids are not that driven or have a passion that will engulf their lives. It’s those driven kids that ruin unschooling for the rest of us mediocre chumps. The other 95 % (that’s a guess but I bet it’s high) of us just live and play and learn in our day to day lives. You hear about those driven kids and think your homeschool life needs to look like that or somehow you’re failing. When in reality…those are just the unschooled/homeschooled kids you hear about. It makes for a boring read that your kids played a game or two, colored, made cookies, read books or played on the computer for hours before going to the playground with friends while the Moms discuss the following days field trip to a different park for some creeking and a picnic only to run to the rec center for break dancing class then scootering home to stuff your papers that need to be delivered after dinner. See just day to day boring stuff.
No, we don’t live on a farm. That means I have to look for enriching things for us to do….catching and feeding monarchs before they migrate to Mexico for the winter: (Science, History, Geography, Math)
Watching the navy jump out of airplanes: (Physics, History)
Also, giving them lots of opportunities to cook, create, talk to professionals, have pets to take care of, visit both local and different libraries, museums, local landmarks and traveling both near and far. (History, Math, English, Art, Science,Literature)
We are getting ready for a trip to Dog Island, off the coast of Florida. For us an event or a trip is the perfect reason to seek out information about things. We have gotten out maps to track our drive and globes to compare our little trip to the great big world. We have read countless books on the ocean, coral reefs, tides and tidal pools, food chains and the gulf of Mexico. We have watched movies about sea turtles, dolphins and many magic school bus episodes on ocean life and water. We built our Galileoscopes and have our sky maps ready. This is all fun, enriching foot work that we often do before a trip to the apple orchard or camping at a local park. I learned that we don’t have to be boarding a plane or driving across the country to learn or experience something interesting, fun or real life. But it certainly helps! This is real life learning. (For those that are looking for the learning, that’s-Science, Biology, Geography, Math, Astronomy, Literature)
Remember this post from about a year ago? (the part about all the buckeyes) Well, a few weeks ago, Molly shelled, drilled, purchased beads, created the necklaces, got change, biked to campus and sold $90 worth of those buckeye necklaces in less than two hours. (For those that need to compartmentalize learning that’s-Art, Math, gym, shop)
Molly even gave her helper some money!
She spent a good chunk of that money on an expensive Halloween costume. Yes, it made my stomach turn to see her dole out that much cash for a few hours of wear but it it is her money. Of course I put my 2 cents in. But in the end it is her money and deciding when, where and how to spend it is also real life learning. She has a paper route so she has income coming in. She set aside money to spend on vacation and some more to purchase a hair straightener. Oh, and don’t worry about her future because she puts half of her paper route check in a savings account! I would say she is learning more than any text book could teach her. (Mucho Math)
Many schooled kids do these same things but homeschooling allows us more time for these learning opportunities. We don’t have to cram them in when there is time. They are just part of our day to day lives.
Now, back to my husband. I sort of wear the educational pants in our family as my husband wears the financial pants. We may discuss things but the one with the knowledge makes the ultimate decision. So Ginger going to school is completely out of the question! I may halfheartedly support my older kids curiosity about school but not so much my early elementary grade kid. What could school possibly teach my wiggly 5 year old that she can’t learn by snuggling up with us reading books, playing games, painting, playing with friends, outside, inside and at parks and museums? She is experiencing life first hand, with her family and friends. Not at a kindergarten level or in a specific time frame. She is one lucky 5 year old!
Look–More science!! See learning is everywhere!!!!!!!!!!
You’re right that a lot of school kids do these same things, go to school and even do other things, BUT, you’re right too, that the time constraints can really interfere with family time; and as well, and maybe even more important, inspired (also meaning, immediate) learning. It’s much …different in school to foster this even though there are some teachers who try very hard. I can tell you that with my daughter (not my oldest son, though) she has been very lucky to somehow have been paired with teachers so far who are nurturers of independent thinkers, and really respect her (and the other children). I think they did this on purpose with Lea from the beginning to keep her interested. And I have to say and others say this about her, too: Lea was made for school. I have no idea where in the world this quality came from, but she loves the competition, the structure, the different challenges, the kids, the teachers and admin, all the school spirit-y stuff, the whole school enchilada (including the food) (which she only gets to eat once in awhile).
But you know, for my youngest son, Steven, I highly doubt he will ever see or want to see the inside of a classroom; and really, I doubt I would encourage him to go. Even this year with trying to implement more structured study into his unstructured schedule, it has been almost impossible. He simply has too many other things going on.
I’ll never forget what Sophie told the principal of an elementary school when she visited there one time. The principal asked if she would like to join them full-time and Sophie, in her Sophie way told her, “Ummm, no, I don’t think I can because I’m really busy.”
Ok done blogging on your blog now! This is my mantra, I’ll give it to you: Keep up the good work, enjoy your life, it’s a splendid one
!
PS. Have fun in Fl and holy smokes that’s a lot of buckeye necklaces. I’d feel the same about the costume, but what can you do? Can’t wait to see pix.
Love it.
Thank you for this post. I couldn’t have read this at a more perfect time.
My son is turning 3 in a few weeks. Yes, THREE. And already we are getting questions about preschool, reading, CURRICULUM! It’s always been our intention to homeschool, for the very reasons you have described. Yet I can tell that I need to keep reinforcing these reasons to myself, and avoid the temptation to “do” more, “plan” more, “teach” more.
I think I’ll bookmark this post to re-read again later. This is the kind of education I want my kids to have.
And WOW that’s a lot of necklaces! Awesome!
You rock lady.
So true about the motivation thing….just a truly awesome post.
Joe and I were having a related discussion about this earlier this week I have been going through the whole learning process all over again with Ellen. WE enrolled her in Huntington Learning Center to basically teach her from grade 1 up to where she should be at grade 8. Teh school was just giving her more homework and she was spending 7 hours a night trying to complete it. IF YOU DON”T UNDERSTAND PHONICS HOW CAN YOU COMPLETE HOMEWORK ON COMPREHENSION?
I am envious that you are such a great teacher, artist, etc that you are able to teach your kids the REAL things they need to know and not just bullshit to be able to pass tests.
Tell Joe to stuff it and keep doing what you are so good at, your kids will thank you for the life lessons and home schooling you have given them when they are older.
I’m so torn about the idea of home/unschooling. I’d love to do it, but if we do end up with a child we’re going to be under so much legal scrutiny that I don’t think there’s any way to get away with it, even if it could be the best thing for creating attachment. I do want to cultivate a “rich live” beyond school, but the reason that we’re wanting to pay big bucks for the Waldorf School if we have a child in grade school is that it’s the closest we can get to this kind of environment while still using a government-approved classroom model. It’s such a mess, though I know I can only make an informed decision when there’s an actual child involved and blah blah blah. Sorry, this isn’t really a response to your post. I think I’m just envying you!
I totally agree that homeschooling allows more time for things that other kids have to work to cram into their day. I love going to the library since beginning to homeschool. I just plunk myself down with a book and she can take as long as it takes to find books.
Also, I think a really important point that you forgot to mention is that all those sales are not just teaching her math, but actual financial literacy. I remember learning to write checks in school, but I don’t remember specific classes in how to earn, save or spend money. Maybe if more of us had been taught those lessons in school, our economy might be in better shape. What is more important than learning how to take care of yourself?
I’m feeling conflicted that my daughter wants to go back to school next year. I’d prefer to continue homeschooling, but she really wants to try public school. Luckily, we found one that we really like. We’ll see, though.
I’ve been reading your blog for quite sometime now…but not sure I’ve posted before. This post really resonated with me because my son just turned 3 in July, and like a previous poster, everyone is talking about how he’ll be in school next fall. Sometimes I just smile and grit my teeth and other times I say flat out, “Oh no. We’ll be unschooling.” My mother actually said to me, “What gives you the credentials to teach him anything.” Can you believe it? Um…I’m his mum. Anyway…sorry, that was a rant. I agree whole heartedly with the life and education you are providing you children. I think your kids are so fortunate to have a mum who is so vested in their quality of education. School will never teach them the lessons that you are. I struggled with the public system (I’m in Canada) and I believe it failed me. I left school feeling stupid because I couldn’t get high marks. I realized years later that it wasn’t me…but the system. That’s when I knew I would never let my kid get lost in the system. (Oh look, another rant) Congrats on all the amazing work you are doing. It’s truly inspiring to me.
Karen
Ahhh the busy life of an unschooler! Love the mantra…it’s a good one!
Amanda
A child’s real work is play!! So play, play, play!! have fun!
Thanks Hay! Are your kids in school these days or home? Love your watercolors!
Thanks Tom!! Telling Joe to stuff it is priceless!! Hope Ellen is on the right track now. See you guys soon.
Thorn—I am sure you guys will do what ever feels right when the time comes. Don’t sweat it…yet! There will be lots of time for that! Thanks for commenting
Wendy, I love taking our time in most places, like you said about the library. Such a huge benefit of homeschooling! My son has mentioned school off and on over the years-I know the panic feeling. Good luck!
Thanks for the kind words Debbie! You are your child’s most qualified teacher because you’re his Mom! Thanks for commenting!
What a great unschooly post, Kristen! I agreed with every word.
I’ve got 5 little homeschoolers and couldn’t imagine it any other way. It’s a lifestyle for us — there’s learning learning everywhere. A few of my kiddos use an online school (you too?) but we crank the work out quick in the morning so we have the rest of the day to play play play.
(Though I know that if they went to school I could drink my coffee in peace and my house would be tidy at last!!)
I’m with you — like you, I think my kiddos are pretty lucky too. They know it!
Molly’s buckeye necklaces! I’ve never seen so many! I love the pic of Ginger helping her sell them. Such little entrepreneurs.
This was a terrific post — you’ve got wonderful kiddos and they’ve got a wonderful teacher
There is nothing wrong with home schooling and dont listen to people who tell you otherwise. If done correctly it can be much better than traditional schools. All it takes are dedicated parents who really set the time aside to teach the kids the basics reading writng math science in some way everyday. Every experience can be a learning experience! And hey I did the new look feel and design of the website. Has an attractive feel. Great work.