My Quick But Long Response to Discovery Health Radical Parenting Show
I have so much running through my brain after reading many negative responses to last nights airing of Radical Parenting on Discovery Health. I am speaking particularly on the Radical Unschooling segment. 20 minutes on TVsure can whip up a lot of opinions!! There was obvious editing and “the experts” were obviously from the other much more traditional side of parenting (and didn’t back up there expert opinions with any facts).
For those who watched and are now leaving negative comments on Radical Unschooling all over the place here is some basic information (which many of you seem to be lacking) Radical Unschooling is a way of life, not just an educational choice. Just like someone who is catholic isn’t just catholic on Sundays at mass or a vegetarian only at dinner. And just like those families that aren’t unschooling, learning is happening all the time. ALL THE TIME. You can’t not learn. Your brain never shuts off. So even those that choose another type of education or lifestyle-you’re still learning all the time too. So don’t give those teachers all the credit!
Radical Unschooling has little to do with school-we don’t “do” school. We (along w/ our kids because we too are learning all the time) learn by living. We read, play games, visit museums, libraries, cook, garden, investigate. These are the things more traditional families consider learning opportunities too- you plan trips around this stuff, you do it on the weekends you look back on these experiences with fond memories. We do it everyday. All those things that are just part of everyday life are learning opportunities too (grocery shopping -the list making, price comparison, budget making, reading labels…). When we need to know something we find the answers-ask someone, look it up, take a class. We are in charge of our learning. Anything you want to know the answer is out there for you to find. You don’t have to sit in a class room for 12 yrs! Go find the answer yourself.
As a parent it is my job to expose my kids to as much stuff as I can. You never know what will spark an interest. And that interest will lead to more in depth learning-be it dinosaurs, robots, computers or biology. Who are we to say what is important enough to learning and what isn’t. And for those that need it clarified-our learning is well rounded. example….Susie loves rocks. Everywhere she goes she picks them up. So as a parent I plan trips to find good rocks. We look up some places on the internet, we get books out from the library-(reading, english) We pick a place to go (geography, math, science) We go there and dig (earth science) We identify our rocks and figure out why these types of rocks are different than the ones we picked up on our trip out west.(more science, english, math, geography) And it goes on and on. All the time. Not just on Saturdays or in the evenings. Not only in the 4th grade because that’s when you study rocks. And not only for a week because now you have to learn about something your not interested in because your course of study has been pre determined by people who know what and when and how in depth you will be learning certain things. That is the “school” part of Radical Unschooling.
I say it is a lifestyle because we are not telling our kids what to learn or how to learn it. They are deciding and as a parent I am helping when they need it, yet putting “stuff” out there all the time (with no expectations ). We are respecting there choices. We are trusting them to listen to themselves. I am not telling my kids to put a coat on because it is cold or go to bed because I say it’s time for you to be tired. That’s not to say we don’t have a bed time routine-teeth brushing, jammies, reading books, lights down low. But as an example my 11 yr old, after all of that last night, stayed up watching an animation tutorial on the computer after I fell asleep.
Yes, Sarah Parent read something on the show for one of her kids-If your husband said to you”What does that say” would you stand there and quiz him or just read it for him. There will be loads of opportunities for kids to read-it is an unavoidable part of life. More than 90 % of the population learns to read on their own. Exposure is key!
I think the main difference is an unschoolers definition of success. Success to us would be our children growing up to be happy. Happiness trumps all-sorry! If you are happy working at McDonalds-excellent! Working there fills a need-people like burgers and fries and somebody needs to make em and serve em! If you are happy being a plumber-great! I bet you learned that on the job didn’t you? If you are happy going to college-great. Glad your choice of higher education is working out for you.
One comment I read said it is our job to make sure our kids don’t think they are the center of the universe! What??-why not??? My kids, my family are the center of my universe! They are special and perfect to me. They should be honored and valued as such so that they have the confidence and love for themselves to be the best possible human being they can be. The world will teach them disappointment- it is part of life. I don’t feel the need to knock them down (figuratively) so they get used to it and know what it’s like.
Ok-I have to go-this was typed out super quickly-so don’t judge unschooling by my typos or anything grammatically incorrect. I don’t even have time to read through it a second time!
Tags: Children, discovery health, educational choice, everyday life, Learning, learning all the time, lifestyle, negative comments, negative responses, Parent, Parenting, Radical, radical parenting, Sarah Parent, traditional families, unschool, unschooler, Unschoolers, unschooling, way of life
So many of the complaints about the program were ludicrous out-of-context. They acted as though 7-year-olds are supposed to be supporting themselves and balancing the checkbook. Most of the adult skills our children learn are modeled for them for a good long while. Clearly, folks don’t understand the concept of learning. They can only see teaching. We don’t make use of teachable moments all day every day. We take opportunities here and there to discuss things as we would with an adult, but in my life, we just live, we don’t create a curriculum out of life by taking everything apart and saying “oh, here is where we teach reading” and “here is where we teach math.” So I would absolutely read a sign for my child (who can also read on his own and is 7) and would explain that a dollar wasn’t enough for something. Jeez.
I guess people are just upset that they get to have fun all the time while everyone else is busy doing what they’re “supposed” to do!
My children are watching videos on a laptop while I run around the internet yelling at everyone… lol
Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised but I was very disappointed that people took this 20 minutes and applied it not only the the Parent family’s entire life but to all other homeschoolers and unschoolers. Do a little research, look at the results and then decide if it’s right for your family because frankly, that’s the only family you need to be worrying about!
And I think having to study something or do something you don’t find particularly interesting is a valuable lesson. You are never going to get to do exactly what you want to do in every moment of your life. Working at McDonalds or being an artist or being a CEO are all going to lead to having to get through projects, work and things you would rather not do. And just because you don’t WANT to learn about XYZ doesn’t mean a few days worth of in-depth study isn’t going to uncover a new interest. I hated swim team when my mom put me on the team at age 6 – I threw a fit before every practice for the first 6 weeks. But, she had paid for the season and I was going to complete the program. By the end of the summer I loved it and went on to swim competitively for the next 13 years. If I was allowed, at age 6, to declare that swimming wasn’t an interest I wanted to pursue I would have missed out on years of fanatic opportunities and memories.
As far as forcing kids to drudge through things they don’t want to do. There are plenty of things in everyday life that we can’t control that are boring: sitting in traffic, waiting in line at the store, not being able to drive until you are 16, not having enough money to buy what you want. Life has many teachable moments! And as an adult there are plenty more day to day tasks which although we may not love them, we see the benefit in them-washing clothes or dishes=clean clothes and dishes etc…. I honestly don’t see any value in forcing anybody to do anything they don’t like or want to do. Why? Life is too short. And you may not get to do what you want at every minute but hopefully the big picture (the benefit) of your job makes the boring stuff worthwhile.
As far as your swimming, I wouldn’t want to fight with my kids everyday for six weeks in hopes (at best) that they might find an interest.
Thanks for reading my post and responding! I appreciate the conversation!! You sound like a parent committed to their kid and that can’t be a bad thing!!
Yes-I think you hit the nail on the head-Choosing Joy and happiness is so foreign to people. They think they “have” to do so many things. Everything is a choice. I think that is what is making people so mad about these issues. Because we are happy and having fun and not forcing our kids to do stuff nor forcing ourselves to do shitty, boring stuff either. You only have one life-and it could end tomorrow-so live today and everyday as it were your last!
Thanks so much for commenting!!
Did you see the article in last Sundays Dispatch about polka and Polish food in Cleveland? We can’t wait to go and take my in-laws on our next trip home to Cleveland!! Hope to run into you soon!
We like to emphasize the collective in our family. We’re all here and we all have to work together to make our lives work. Sometimes that takes saying things like “when you want to do xyz, I need to prepare in this way, so it’s really imperative that you help me……NOW.” And sometimes I can’t help it – my inner asshole/control freak comes out and I go off. I think it’s more important to be genuine than it is to be upbeat or gentle, personally. But that could be just me. lol