What’s On My Strewing Table & Unschooling & Dyslexia
We have been a little busy around here hunting for eggs and eating chocolate so my posts are a bit behind. This week on our strewing table I set up a little letter and card writing station because April is National Card and Letter writing month. And who doesn’t love to get some mail???
I made a stop at our Dollar Store and picked up some pretty Spring paper, blank cards, envelopes and some colored index cards. I filled a desk organizer and added in some pens and pencils.
I also bought some alphabet wall stickers at the Dollar Store. Ginger still often asks not only how to spell words but what letters look like. “Mom, what’s a “Y” look like” And often times it’s not so easy as “A “V” on a stick.” So the visual is a great help!And cheap and temporary.
And because it’s so much fun when the real mail man leaves something in the mail box for you—-I have sent my kids some mail that they should be receiving any day now!
Now a little bit about reading and writing and choices and unschooling.
My 11 year old is dyslexic. Yes an unschooler with a label. It’s OK with me. Because all that it means is she learns and see’s things differently than most people. She needs help reading and spelling. I knew something was up when she just couldn’t sing the alphabet at 6. No biggie really but just one of the first things I noticed. We had a quick, free evaluation done and they suggested dyslexia and more expensive testing. We rushed home read all the reccomended books, started the make the very expensive appointments that all had waiting lists months long. Then I spoke to a nice man at a resource center one day and he mentioned that all that expensive psycho testing would tell us that yes she is dyslexic and you can try X or Y to try to “fix” it. So we should just save our money and just try X or Y.(Because according to the “experts” there really is only X or Y).
So we tried some tutoring from a local self titled reading doctor that ended up being a horrible experience-I would like to just wipe it out of my memory. She is crazy in the reward, coercion, punishment crazy sort of old school way!!! I will not speak of her. Done.
The X “cure” was Orton Gillingham tutoring. In other words $$$ tutoring. But an organization in our area offered free tutoring. Excellent. IF you have an actual diagnosis. Which we didn’t have because we canceled all of our expensive appointments. I talked to my friend who is a psychologist for our school system and she told me to call and set up free testing through the school system. As a tax payer-those services are available to me. To make a long story short-the tests were long and grueling for Molly. When we met for results (words like severe and profound were used) and the school system realized we had no intention of using their schools they very happily handed over the dyslexia diagnosis. This is something they just do not do. Because they do not treat specific learning disabilities they always diagnose to what they can help or teach–non specific learning disability. So-we got our “dyslexia label” and called about the free tutoring-only there was a 1 year waiting list. But I was promised that this place was so great that they could “cure” Molly of her “problem.”
So in the mean time we met with a Kindergarten teacher to tutor Molly once a week. Molly loved meeting with her. She was young and hip and in the summer time even came to our house 3 mornings a week to read and play literacy games with Molly. Then we got the call…the experts had room for her.
We began the free tutoring this past fall on a bad note. The reading center is completely un-child friendly. It is stark, boring and very unwelcoming. The women who run the place are cold and stuffy. So immediately there was that hurdle.Yet Molly’s tutor was wonderful. She was fun and nice and warm and everything the center was not! But she had a teacher that she worked under and the teacher often sat in on the sessions offering Molly’s tutor suggestions and would push Molly to try harder. The directors were not very encouraging-they scolded me for waiting so long to begin “The Program”, “She is profoundly, severely dyslexic”, they were sure to inform me on several occasions . Really–she doesn’t have an incurable, life threatening disease ladies. Never working on her strengths but harping on her weaknesses. The twice a week-middle of the day- tutoring sessions were becoming more and more stressful for both Molly and myself. She didn’t want to go and called it stupid. I had a bad attitude that I could no longer hide for the sake of a “cure.” The last straw came on a day in January that our regular tutor was ill and the teacher tutor sat in for her. This woman told me Molly’s handwriting was barely legible.
I hated her. I hated the fact that Molly always took such pride in her handwriting and now they found something else “wrong” with her. I could barely speak-I told the woman “Molly has beautiful handwriting” and she just walked away from me. That was the last tutoring session we had at that center.
Soon after I attended a discussion on right brained learners led by Cindy at Apple Stars. After hearing Cindy speak, I knew we had made the right choice. If you ever have a chance to attend one of her talks, I highly recommend attending! If you have a right brained learner–she will make you cry. She is wonderful! And so full of positive information. She also has a Yahoo group for right brained learners that you may want to check out. Her blog is full of info for living with right brained learners. Trusting them, following their lead and meeting them where they are. All of these things are so important with any child-not just one who doesn’t fit in the box. Yet it sure makes life easier and much more enjoyable when you don’t try to squish a pear through a key hole.
Yes-it is super hard to be an unschooler and address a learning differently child-I wrote earlier that I don’t mind the label because it gives me a starting point at how to help Molly. But I won’t let it define her. And I think this is exactly what was happening with all the tutoring. It was becoming the center of our week. And it was feeling yucky. Molly has so many gifts and talents that are far beyond those of us that can read. So we are really concentrating on letting her thrive in those areas. That is wear her interest is so that is how she will learn to read and spell. Setting up and strewing a card and letter writing station like this gives her a chance to show off her beautiful handwriting. Right now we are taking the focus off of what she can’t do and putting the spotlight on ALL that she can do. And it is so much. Dyslexia is just a small part of her.
Tags: blank cards, card, cards, desk, desk organizer, diagnosis, dollar store, dyslexia, envelopes, Gillingham, homeschool, how to spell words, hurdle, index cards, interest, Kids, Learning, letter writing, literacy, mail box, mail man, Orton, pencil, pens, post, psychologist, reading, reccomended books, sing the alphabet, strew, Strewing, talent, testing, unschool, unschooler, unschooling, wall stickers
So lucky we can be empowered in our parenting/education choices, good for you! And Molly!
Well, now I know thanks to you. I know now that meant they had no clue how to help him and they dared not give it a name for fear I would expect them to. I’ve lived through several such horror stories which is why I can say LOUDLY that you are a brave, fearless and a worthy example for women everywhere.
What I really love is that Molly will grow up knowing how to set boundaries and not rely on the “experts” to fix all of the problems she will run into throughout life. You are showing her and your other kids and even us how to be a strong and powerful advocate.
Bravo girlfriend!!
I applaud strong, brave moms who don’t back down just because some professional does not agree with them. I have seen you do it before and I know you will again. I will always have your back dear friend.