Molly wanted a Hamburger Cake for her birthday. We trolled around the Internet and looked at lots of photos and ideas. This is what we came up with. It might look like something difficult but let me be the first to tell you-I am not much of a baker and if I can put this together anyone can! I don’t have any photos of the cake in progress.

I bought 2 cake mixes-1 yellow and one chocolate. I made the chocolate in a 8×8 brownie pan-square patty like Wendy’s burgers!

I made 2— 8 inch rounds out of the yellow cake but filled one with more of the batter (bottom bun smaller-top bun larger.)

After they cooled I trimmed the patty to make it nice and flat as well as trimming the bottom bun. Then I took the extra chocolate cake and added it to the top of the top yellow cake bun to make it more dome like. Make sense?

I bought 3 cans of frosting 1 chocolate and 2 white

We took some frosting out  and divided it into 3 bowls for condiments and added food coloring –red for ketchup, green for lettuce and yellow for mustard. You don’t need much. After you reach the desired color put each into a plastic bag and squeeze down to one bottom corner. set aside.

Take more white frosting into a bowl and add color to look like American cheese—use this to frost graham crackers to look like cheese slices on the burger.

Take the other can of white frosting and make it bun colored-we added a bit of the chocolate frosting for some color plus some food coloring.

Now to put it together

bottom bun cake first with burger patty (chocolate cake) next. Frost the chocolate cake with the chocolate frosting-making the edges look burgery!

 To that we put the graham crackers already frosted on the edges of the burger cake-hanging over a bit. We didn’t go all the way into the middle of the burger with these I wanted it to stay stable and thought this might make it tippy and too sweet. We did use more of the cheese frosting between the graham crackers and on the edges to look like melting cheese.

Then top with top bun. Use the bun frosting to glue the dome shape together. Try to smooth the frosting out as much as possible. Now get your condiment frosting’s and cut a tiny bit off the corner (a little larger for lettuce) and pipe lettuce around the bottom edge and squeeze squiggly ketchup and mustard on the cheese frosting.

We added a few slivered almonds on the top for seseme seeds.

This really wasn’t too hard. And it was surprisingly good. I thought it was going to be way too sweet-but it wasn’t. It was a little hard to cut but no one seemed to mind!

I am blogging over at Ohio Moms Blog today

My post is about saying Yes to my kids more often. Below is a snipit from the post

……..As my kids and family size grew so did my impatience! “No” had become my knee jerk answer.  “Can I ……NO!”   “Will you….NO!” I started sounding much like a toddler with a new and powerful word and I imagine it was really irritating for my kids! Soon my predictable yet arbitrary NO had lost its power.

I think I am going to write more about this soon. Saying yes is just the begining, the start of so many possibilities.

I have so much running through my brain after reading many negative responses to last nights airing of Radical Parenting on Discovery Health. I am speaking particularly on the Radical Unschooling segment. 20 minutes on TVsure can whip up a lot of opinions!! There was obvious editing and “the experts” were obviously from the other much more traditional side of parenting (and didn’t back up there expert opinions with any facts).

For those who watched and are now leaving negative  comments on Radical Unschooling all over the place here is some basic information (which many of you seem to be lacking) Radical Unschooling is a way of life, not just an educational choice. Just like someone who is catholic isn’t just catholic on Sundays at mass or a vegetarian only at dinner.  And just like those families that aren’t unschooling, learning is happening all the time. ALL THE TIME. You can’t not learn. Your brain never shuts off. So even those that choose another type of education or lifestyle-you’re still learning all the time too. So don’t give those teachers all the credit!

Radical Unschooling has little to do with school-we don’t “do” school. We (along w/ our kids because we too are learning all the time) learn by living. We read, play games, visit museums, libraries, cook, garden, investigate.  These are the  things more traditional families consider learning opportunities too- you plan trips around this stuff, you do it on the weekends you look back on these experiences with fond memories. We do it everyday.  All those things that are just part of everyday life are learning opportunities  too (grocery shopping -the list making, price comparison, budget making, reading labels…). When we need to know something we find the answers-ask someone, look it up, take a class. We are in charge of our learning. Anything you want to know the answer is out there for you to find. You don’t have to sit in a class room for 12 yrs! Go find the answer yourself.

As a parent it is my job to expose my kids to as much stuff as I can. You never know what will spark an interest. And that interest will lead to more in depth learning-be it dinosaurs, robots, computers or biology. Who are we to say what is important enough to learning and what isn’t. And for those that need it clarified-our learning is well rounded. example….Susie loves rocks. Everywhere she goes she picks them up. So as a parent I plan trips to find good rocks. We look up some places on the internet, we get books out from the library-(reading, english) We pick a place to go (geography, math, science) We go there and dig (earth science) We identify our rocks and figure out why these types of rocks are different than the ones we picked up on our trip out west.(more science, english, math, geography)  And it goes on and on. All the time.  Not just on Saturdays or in the evenings.  Not only in the 4th grade because that’s when you study rocks. And not only for a week because now you have to learn about something your not interested in because your course of study has been pre determined by people who know what and when and how in depth you will be learning certain things.  That is the “school” part of Radical Unschooling.

I say it is a lifestyle because we are not telling our kids what to learn or how to learn it. They are deciding and as a parent I am helping when they need it, yet putting “stuff” out there all the time (with no expectations ). We are respecting there choices. We are trusting them to listen to themselves. I am not telling my kids to put a coat on because it is cold or go to bed because I say it’s time for you to be tired. That’s not to say we don’t have a bed time routine-teeth brushing, jammies, reading books, lights down low. But as an example my 11 yr old, after all of that last night, stayed up watching an animation tutorial on the computer after I fell asleep.

Yes, Sarah Parent read something on the show for one of her kids-If your husband said to you”What does that say” would you stand there and quiz him or just read it for him. There will be loads of opportunities for kids to read-it is an unavoidable part of life. More than 90 % of the population learns to read on their own. Exposure is key!

I think the main difference is an unschoolers definition of success. Success to us would be our children growing up to be happy. Happiness trumps all-sorry! If you are happy working at McDonalds-excellent! Working there fills a need-people like burgers and fries and somebody needs to make em and serve em! If you are happy being a plumber-great! I bet you learned that on the job didn’t you? If you are happy going to college-great. Glad your choice of higher education is working out for you.

One comment I read said it is our job to make sure our kids don’t think they are the center of the universe! What??-why not???  My kids, my family are the center of my universe! They are special and perfect to me. They should be honored and valued as such so that they have the confidence and love for themselves to be the best possible human being they can be. The world will teach them disappointment- it is part of life. I don’t feel the need to knock them down (figuratively) so they get used to it and know what it’s like.

Ok-I have to go-this was typed out super quickly-so don’t judge unschooling by my typos or anything grammatically incorrect. I don’t even have time to read through it a second time!

It ended up being dinner for 2 tonight, so I made it extra special….because she ’s worth it!

Wednesday night on Discovery Health at 8:00PM there is going to be a Radical Unschooling piece as part of a Radical Parenting episode. Sarah Parent of Clan of Parents and her family were filmed to be part of the show. Her blog has more details on the filming process.

I am still floating around on my post conference high! I am re-reading Deschooling Our Lives and I just picked up Nurture Shock and Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves from the library tonight. I am also LOVING these podcasts called Whatever, Whatever Amen!!! Our local unschooling group is getting together so we can  watch this Astra Taylor lecture together and discuss it. I have already watched it once-it is long but well worth it. Very inspiring!!

Any body have any other recommendations for unschooling books, blogs, podcasts or websites I should be checking out?

Need I say more??????  I cut this recipe out of our local paper.

Brownie Waffles

makes about 10 waffles

preheat waffle iron

Melt 1/2 cup butter in pan. Remove from heat. Stir in 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa. Then add 3/4 cup sugar, 2 eggs, 1 T water, 1/2 t vanilla. Stir in 1 1/4 cups flour, 1/4 t salt.

Pour a generous Tablespoon of batter into each well of the waffle iron.  You want these to be cooked but not crunchy-less time than you would cook regular waffles.

As you can see I didn’t put enough batter in my iron!!

Now you can just eat these plain, with powder sugar, with ice cream in between or like us with strawberries and whip cream.

Sometimes I don’t even know what I need. I go looking for one thing and find another. Sometimes I cast that odd other thing aside thinking I don’t need it and sometimes I hold on to it for dear life, like a new treasure to add to my collection. But funny thing is, that collection has to start somewhere. Often times it begins with a second or third or fourth exposure  (because sometimes I am slow, stubborn or deaf)  to that odd other thing that I cast away earlier. It keeps popping up and continues to catch my eye and then fills my thoughts and I begin to obsess over it. Then I go back searching for those tidbits I tossed aside earlier. I sort through stuff trying to remember wear I saw it. I find other things along the way to add in and after some back tracking and hard work I have the beginnings of a wonderful collection.

For years I have  had this vision of what I wanted my family to be. It sort of looks like an old Kodachrome, or an 8mm movie camera playing a film of strawberry blond kids, happily running through a meadow. Ridiculous, I know. But I am a visual person and the part that sticks out in that picture for me is the happiness and joy part of the picture. The part that I feel is missing from my picture,  my family.

At the end of 2009 I told my friends that I was turning over a new leaf. I was going to be a nicer person. When really I meant I was going to find MY joy and happiness. I think I have been looking for it in all the wrong places. No one is going to bring it to me, it’s not in a book or off of a shelf. Recently I  realized it  has been with me all along. And I didn’t even know it. Happiness really is a choice, it is within my power to just Be Happy. Stepping outside of my normal response or mind set is just a beginning of bringing on that  happiness.

I am going to tie this all together I promise!

Last week we attended The Unschoolers Winter Water Park Gathering for 4  days. This is the third year we have attended but this is the longest we have stayed and the most actual conference sessions we have attended.  These speakers said exactly what I needed to hear. Not what I wanted mind you, but what I needed. We rehashed these conference discussions 12 billion times over the next several days and a funny thing happened-I went from being dumbfounded and even pissed off a little to questioning and  then more discussion and then to an openness that I didn’t anticipate in the least.  See, unschooling is about so much more than just not doing school. It’s even more than just letting your kids decide how they want to fill their time and how they want to dress or not cut their hair and dye it blue. I knew that, but I learned again that  it is so much more also.   This is not the first, second, third or even tenth time I have read or heard or even been exposed to Radical Unschooling but it is the first time I actually listened to it.

I am not much in to  “the Secret” but that’s just me casting aside the odd thing for the second or third time now. But holy crap…I heard what I was searching for. Fate maybe? I do believe in fate. I didn’t consciously  put it out there, I wasn’t looking for joy at this conference. I was hoping to hear something other than Yes, your unschooler is learning all they need to know, Yes they can go to college, Yes, they will be functioning adults.  But not that I have the power to be happy and joyful right inside me-this whole time! I was there to hear about unschooling- Well I guess I  did put it out there that I wanted to talk about meatier subjects. I wanted a seasoned unschoolers discussion-even worse I helped lead that discussion. (But I am still not sure about “The Secret!”)

Of course I am living off the conference high since we returned but life feels easier and lighter.  Changing MY attitude goes a long way (about 90%) and simply realizing a few things:

*  Everything is a choice-I don’t have to do anything but I can choose to do it (the dishes, taking the dogs out for the 12th time in a row etc..)  Once I choose to do something it takes away the chore or dread and unpleasantness of it. I always thought this was stupid-just psycho babble-I have been humbled!

* Saying Yes  not my knee jerk No-OMG that makes life so much easier!!!!  HELL-O

*Simplifying and lowering expectations goes a long way in lowering stress levels and making everyone happier. -Duh

*My kids don’t care about the future (or the clean house or all the time it took me to plan, get, prepare and clean up food), they care about NOW (they want me NOW, not when I finish something else, to be present NOW,  not listening with one ear while multi-tasking) And they really want me-to spend time with them-what a huge compliment. I should  feel honored that they want to hang out with me!

*My family doesn’t have an agenda or pre meditated reasons for leaving their stuff around, It has nothing to do with me (detachment)so why be resentful??!

So much of this may seem obvious but it has really been a light bulb switching on for me. Some of it is just looking at things differently.  In a nutshell-I went looking for what I thought was Unschooling info and came home with so much more. So much information that I cast away as craziness  or just didn’t pay attention to while hearing it over and over again.  My collection is beginning to grow, so many new treasures and I plan to hold on to each new piece for dear life.

(My husband wants to know why it took me 1,000 words to say this! It was cathartic, honey!)

I am on a soup kick lately. I love soup and found a cook book of the same name, LOVE SOUP. I can’t say my family loves all this crazy soup making as much as I do. They are a chicken noodle bunch-but not me. Not this winter. This winter I am branching out!!

KALE AND SWEET POTATO SOUP WITH CUMIN AND LEMON

serves 6 generously (again thinking I have different serving size standards)

2 large leeks-white and light green part

1 large yellow onion

2 T olive oil

1 1/2 tsp salt

12 oz sweet potatoes

1-2 small white or yellow potatoes

12 oz kale

4 green onions

1 bunch cilantro

freshly ground pepper

2 or more cups of veg broth

1 T cumin seeds

cayenne

Coarsely chop leeks and onion.  Saute onion  in olive oil with a dash of salt, when soft add leeks cook stirring often for about 20 mins or until soft.

Meanwhile, peel sweet potato and chop both types potatoes into 1/2 inch dice. Chop kale and combine with potatoes in pot with about 5 cups of water and teaspoon of salt. Bring to a boil then simmer 15 mins (or less)

Add the leeks and onions along with sliced green onions, cilantro and lots of freshly ground pepper. Add as much veg broth as you need to give soup a nice consistency.  Simmer about 10 minutes

Lightly toast cumin seeds in dry pan just until fragrant and then grind with mortar or spice grinder. Stir in cumin and a spoonful of lemon juice.  Add more salt, red pepper and lemon juice to taste

ladle into bowls-add a heaping spoonful of tangy cheese-I used goat  chevre and a heavy sprinkle of red pepper flakes

Excellent!!!