Sometimes I don’t even know what I need. I go looking for one thing and find another. Sometimes I cast that odd other thing aside thinking I don’t need it and sometimes I hold on to it for dear life, like a new treasure to add to my collection. But funny thing is, that collection has to start somewhere. Often times it begins with a second or third or fourth exposure  (because sometimes I am slow, stubborn or deaf)  to that odd other thing that I cast away earlier. It keeps popping up and continues to catch my eye and then fills my thoughts and I begin to obsess over it. Then I go back searching for those tidbits I tossed aside earlier. I sort through stuff trying to remember wear I saw it. I find other things along the way to add in and after some back tracking and hard work I have the beginnings of a wonderful collection.

For years I have  had this vision of what I wanted my family to be. It sort of looks like an old Kodachrome, or an 8mm movie camera playing a film of strawberry blond kids, happily running through a meadow. Ridiculous, I know. But I am a visual person and the part that sticks out in that picture for me is the happiness and joy part of the picture. The part that I feel is missing from my picture,  my family.

At the end of 2009 I told my friends that I was turning over a new leaf. I was going to be a nicer person. When really I meant I was going to find MY joy and happiness. I think I have been looking for it in all the wrong places. No one is going to bring it to me, it’s not in a book or off of a shelf. Recently I  realized it  has been with me all along. And I didn’t even know it. Happiness really is a choice, it is within my power to just Be Happy. Stepping outside of my normal response or mind set is just a beginning of bringing on that  happiness.

I am going to tie this all together I promise!

Last week we attended The Unschoolers Winter Water Park Gathering for 4  days. This is the third year we have attended but this is the longest we have stayed and the most actual conference sessions we have attended.  These speakers said exactly what I needed to hear. Not what I wanted mind you, but what I needed. We rehashed these conference discussions 12 billion times over the next several days and a funny thing happened-I went from being dumbfounded and even pissed off a little to questioning and  then more discussion and then to an openness that I didn’t anticipate in the least.  See, unschooling is about so much more than just not doing school. It’s even more than just letting your kids decide how they want to fill their time and how they want to dress or not cut their hair and dye it blue. I knew that, but I learned again that  it is so much more also.   This is not the first, second, third or even tenth time I have read or heard or even been exposed to Radical Unschooling but it is the first time I actually listened to it.

I am not much in to  “the Secret” but that’s just me casting aside the odd thing for the second or third time now. But holy crap…I heard what I was searching for. Fate maybe? I do believe in fate. I didn’t consciously  put it out there, I wasn’t looking for joy at this conference. I was hoping to hear something other than Yes, your unschooler is learning all they need to know, Yes they can go to college, Yes, they will be functioning adults.  But not that I have the power to be happy and joyful right inside me-this whole time! I was there to hear about unschooling- Well I guess I  did put it out there that I wanted to talk about meatier subjects. I wanted a seasoned unschoolers discussion-even worse I helped lead that discussion. (But I am still not sure about “The Secret!”)

Of course I am living off the conference high since we returned but life feels easier and lighter.  Changing MY attitude goes a long way (about 90%) and simply realizing a few things:

*  Everything is a choice-I don’t have to do anything but I can choose to do it (the dishes, taking the dogs out for the 12th time in a row etc..)  Once I choose to do something it takes away the chore or dread and unpleasantness of it. I always thought this was stupid-just psycho babble-I have been humbled!

* Saying Yes  not my knee jerk No-OMG that makes life so much easier!!!!  HELL-O

*Simplifying and lowering expectations goes a long way in lowering stress levels and making everyone happier. -Duh

*My kids don’t care about the future (or the clean house or all the time it took me to plan, get, prepare and clean up food), they care about NOW (they want me NOW, not when I finish something else, to be present NOW,  not listening with one ear while multi-tasking) And they really want me-to spend time with them-what a huge compliment. I should  feel honored that they want to hang out with me!

*My family doesn’t have an agenda or pre meditated reasons for leaving their stuff around, It has nothing to do with me (detachment)so why be resentful??!

So much of this may seem obvious but it has really been a light bulb switching on for me. Some of it is just looking at things differently.  In a nutshell-I went looking for what I thought was Unschooling info and came home with so much more. So much information that I cast away as craziness  or just didn’t pay attention to while hearing it over and over again.  My collection is beginning to grow, so many new treasures and I plan to hold on to each new piece for dear life.

(My husband wants to know why it took me 1,000 words to say this! It was cathartic, honey!)

It’s another dull, gray day here in Columbus, Ohio. Almost everyone I have talked to around here in the past few days is ready for some sunshine and Spring weather but according to the calender we have several more weeks of this doom and gloom to contend with. This morning after an additional cup of coffee, I noticed at about 9am that it wasn’t much lighter than at 7am and I was figuring out how many hours until bedtime. I was planning to either sit on the computer all day or take a nap . Then the sun peaked out for a minute and I decided to bundle up and head outside with my camera to at least get some fresh air in hopes that it would wake me up. I only got a couple of shots worthy of posting but a little exercise and fresh air certainly helped get us through the day.

I bet he is wishing for Spring too!

I bet someone is missing this but probably better that they don’t find it now

a little evidence of life

like a crook of an arm or leg

Other than this I’ve got nothing. Not feeling too crafty or too motivated these days. Just feeling like hibernating and drinking tea and eating oranges. So that’s what I plan on doing!

Ahhh, finally we are all  feeling better. We are going to have another week of beautiful, sunny weather and my house is clean. Life is good!! That glorious orange ball in the sky makes all the difference around here. Our winters really are filled with gray here in Central Ohio so every time the sun peeks out we tend to run out and bask in it. Trying to pocket as much as we can to get us through until Spring!

I was lucky enough to attend two gatherings of women artists this weekend. They helped me to re-visit some goals I have– which is really to get my camera out of the bag for more than just photos of my kids. I so often see things that I would love to photograph….but if my camera is at home in the bag…well, than it’s at home in the bag.

Ooooop kids are up and calling………….

Yesterday we spent the day at The Works Museum. What a great hands-on place! I forgot my camera so no pictures. But there was enough to keep Ginger and I busy for 4 hours while Molly was in an Art-Science class there. One of the many things we loved at the museum was this Budda Board. They had one at the Childrens Museum in Maine but the gift shop was out of them. Lucky for us The Works had plenty in stock!

It really is a zen experience to paint with water on this slate board and watch it eventually fade away.

OOoHHHMmmmmmmmm

I did it-I made the switch. What a crazy nostalgic feeling came over me when I looked at my photos. Most of the photos I took and developed in both high school and college were black and white. I forgot how much I love the look, the contrast the whole feel of black and white. Here are a few of my favorites from yesterday.

The last two I messed with the color-post production, my camera was still set on monochrome. I posted these on the Flare Friday group I belong to also. (I couldn’t wait until Friday!!)

I love this challenge, I am so glad I joined. It is just the artistic boost I needed.

Now for the announcement! If you are a regular reader, you know that I regularly post recipes on Thursdays. I call them Thursdays Quarter Recipes because I used to go out for quarter beers on Thursday nights. It was the highlight of the week and the beginning of the weekend. Now that I am a responsible adult and I don’t partake in those Thursday night rituals any longer, I decided to kick off the weekend with some tasty food instead. But I am tired of drinking alone! I want to host a Quarter Recipe Party every Thursday and everyone is invited!! WooHoo!

I will post a weekly food theme. You can share a recipe, a tip, a link-what ever you see as fitting in with the weeks theme. It doesn’t matter if your a vegetarian, fruitatarian, raw foodist or a meat lover. You can add your name to the Mr Linky that will be installed on my blog on Thursdays and link to PepperPaints Thursday Quarter Recipe page from your blog. Don’t worry it will be easy! So start thinking about what you will post and share on Thursday for this-election- weeks Thursday Quarter Recipe theme

ALL AMERICAN

I hope lots of you will join in!

I am so excited to switch my camera to black and white mode for the month of November! Not just switching my color photos to black and white post production. You wanna join us?

My sensory loving kids love the mess that shaving cream can become!  We started off with cookie trays turned upside down for trays and a squirt of shaving cream.  Then I added a bit of tempra for color.

Then we placed a piece of finger paint paper over the top to make a print.  Freezer paper works well too.

Then it the shaving cream started covering feet and legs..

At this point I went in to finish dinner and took the camera with me.  I could hear them squealing with delight through the kitchen window and when I came back out they were completely white!  All except for eye balls.  I didn’t get a final shot but I am sure you can imagine the sight.  A quick dip in the baby pool and it was all gone!  Before bed tonight Ginger told me next time she wants me to put grubby clothes on and have a shaving cream fight with them.

Tonight Joe and I attended the Opening Reception for the Fine Arts Exhibit of The Ohio State Fair.  One of my photographs was accepted in the show.  I felt so proud to be brushing elbows and guzzling all the free local wine we could with the other artists!  If you are local and are planning on attending the Fair-check out all the great art in the Fine Arts building.  My photo is on the back wall in the case.  You can even purchase it!