Earlier this summer I was invited to a  pre-party of our local libraries summer reading program. My kids have always participated in this program. We are a family of readers so it is really a no brainer for us. Reading = get free stuff. Yet,  I didn’t go to the pre party because really in theory I am totally against the idea of rewarding kids with tokens and or coupons for reading. Yes=I am a bit of a party pooper. No, I don’t over analyze everything and get on my soap box tooting my horn at every main stream activity! But I saw this post on Controversial Summer Reading Programs and it gave me just the nudge I needed to finally come out of the closet.

Now, don’t get me wrong I LOVE our library and I especially love my local branch.  We visit our library as well as other neighborhood libraries often. We rely on our library and appreciate all they do for us. But I just can’t get comfortable rewarding kids (or adults) for reading.  I didn’t (still don’t) want my librarians to know this-I am embarrassed to admit this to them. I just don’t have very high hopes that they could even begin to understand my reasons. They see me as one of their best patrons and I feel like I am letting them down by knocking  their attempts to get kids into the library and reading more. Rewards for this, rewards for that, rewards for reading over the summer too?  There must be a better way.

I don’t live in the dark-I realize that most every family  lives by these arbitrary rewards.  ( Some may even try to call them incentives.)  Homes and schools are run this way; allowance for chores, stickers for pizza parties, candy for potty training, money or presents for good grades.   I call them –just another way to coerce kids into doing what adults want. It’s all a cover up kids!!

Back to reading programs–It is true that these programs start off working as an incentive to read or at least to check out more books. (which is great for libraries–higher circulation is a primary goal of libraries. Higher circulation = more money)  Kids gear up by visiting the library and checking out lots of books and that is a great thing! Then  for 20 minutes–(checking the clock the whole time) they/you  read a book and then get to mark off a square. How many times do they bring that sheet to you asking, “Can I mark off another one? Can you read some more—-so I can mark off another one?”  See what I am getting at? It may seem like it’s all for the love of reading but it’s not–it’s for the love of filling in the stupid square and the the stupid free bookmark or  book bag or back pack that they are rewarded for finishing the summer reading program. How many parents get pissed off and just tell their kids–”Fine! Just mark off 1 square!”  *(clue #1 -kids know if they finish quickly they will get their reward)

I wonder if this reading enthusiasm wanes after they get that backpack?  We hope not-we hope the Summer reading Program turns kids into “readers” but it is doubtful that book marks and bike raffles are going to have that lasting effect on young readers.* (clue #2-once kids get there prize they are not keeping up the frantic reading pace) There is an alternative.  Really, you can avoid all those yucky feelings about keeping track of the chore called The Summer Reading Program.

As I said earlier–We are readers and my kids participate in the summer reading program and yet I am against rewards for reading. But I have a sneaking suspicion other families are going about filling in there squares a little differently than we are. As  readers, we read books, the newspaper, magazines, listen to books on tape as well as podcasts. We read while on the computer and while playing games and writing out lists or following directions both in the car at the grocery and while texting and while cooking.  These same encounters with reading are happening in your family too I bet. Reading is reading. Not just when you set the timer and read from a book.  Sort of how you can’t stop learning new things, and how school isn’t the only place to learn them. Well the summer reading program, like schools leads you to believe that reading occurs in a box  and rewarding this not only takes the enjoyment out of it but it belittles the sheer act of reading by placing an extrinsic reward on it.  I know I am a party pooper! I love a good book and totally love snuggling up with my kids to share a story. And I am all for that kind of reading too!! (I know there is a difference between reading a book and day to day literacy) But for us, ALL reading counts towards those little squares. If my kids ask if they can fill in a square I always say of course you can! See, it doesn’t matter if the timer was set or the reading was taken from a library book. You can feel just fine in saying “Yes to the square”–it’s not cheating. Use it as an opportunity to show your kids just how much they are reading. Probably more than you and they think!

So, we don’t keep track of how long my kids read from a book that someone else deems as legitimate reading material and thinking I need to make sure my kids are following the rules of the program or keeping it secret that I let little Johnny fill in a few extra squares (even though we quit reading at 15 minutes instead of 20).  In the end it is all about the prizes for the kids. Yes, they may be reading more for a short time during the summer but isn’t there a better way other than tricking them into it? And why does reading have to be a competitive sport? Isn’t it meant for totally selfish purposes?! Getting the facts and pure enjoyment?

I am not fooled by these programs–we read all the time. We feel fine filling in the squares and taking advantage of the coupons that we can use to get good stuff! I don’t use these programs to coerce my kids into pressured reading for extrinsic rewards. If you think I am batty-which is fine-you can check out what best selling author, Alfie Kohn has to say on the subject!! There are studies that prove these reward based programs are even hurting your summer reading program participants.

Can’t libraries offer new and exciting programs to lure kids in. Come on–get with the times. Kids read while playing video games!! Bring in some game designers and pull some of those books off the shelves. No, they may not be the classics but they are full of words and kids like them! Have an American Girl Summer Reading Club complete with doing some of the crafts from the books-reading the directions as well as the stories. Have a skate boarding or break dancing demo with those non fiction books pulled as well as those that lead the demo share some of their favorite books.  Have a rapping story time. Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Comic book writers could hold a workshop also. ( I am full of ideas if you want to hire me!!!)

I know there is so much more that is behind those little boxes that I don’t have answers to. Not all kids  live in literacy rich homes. But really , it is just not right to give kids stickers for reading. Don’t be fooled by thinking success equals a high number of participants and circulation. Don’t be fooled that these programs are producing kids that love to read. Maybe these summer readers are really fooling you-

*clues #1 and #2 show just how kids know how to work this rewards system

Last week, my husband and I  were with our homeschool friends Amy and Brad. My husband has been on a kick lately of telling me to send Ginger to school. Partially because he believes it and mostly because he likes to annoy me. Amy and Brad know my husband likes to yank my chain (a lot!!)  so they mostly just laughed at him but also tried to set him straight!

I have sort of become anti-school. If my older kids decided to go to school I would support them but I would have a really hard time with all the rules and regulations that I guess need to be in place for crowd control reasons. The homework–what the heck do they do in school all day that they need to do more when they get home????    Grades?  You are “smart” if you get good grades  (know how to work the system) or your dumb and lazy (bored) if you don’t get good grades.   Arbitrary awards like pizza parties for being quiet and getting high test scores? Now that’s a true love of learning not just a love of pizza! The longer my kids are home, the more happy I am with the choices we (I) have made. I am pretty sure I  have become one of those homeschooling snobs. I’m sorry.  I don’t really look down on you, but I do feel my kids are lucky. They have it pretty good. Obviously, I don’t hold book smarts high on the list of proof of being “smart” or proof of getting a good education.  (Right here insert my super excitement to see John Taylor Gatto at our Annual Unschooling Conference in Feb!!!!!!!!!!)

I certainly wouldn’t tell someone that was thinking about homeschooling that it’s easy or the perfect choice. My kids don’t cooperate all the time or get along well even 50% of the time.But they are in command of their time,  their choices and their learning the majority of the day. And by learning I don’t mean workbooks or texts. I mean real life learning. Part of being an unschooler is living a rich life. Which is one of the not so easy parts of being an unschooling parent.

What does that mean, to live a rich life? For years I struggled with thinking we needed to move to a farm or my kids needed to have deep seeded interests that took them passionately to the library to research their interests or mentors and daily lessons in music or dance. But the reality is that most kids are not that driven or have a passion that will engulf their lives. It’s those driven kids that ruin unschooling for the rest of us mediocre chumps. The other 95 % (that’s a guess but I bet it’s high) of us  just live and play and learn in our day to day lives.  You hear about those driven kids and think your homeschool life needs to look like that or somehow you’re failing. When in reality…those are just the unschooled/homeschooled  kids you hear about. It makes for a boring read that your kids played a game or two, colored, made cookies, read books or played on the computer for hours before going to the playground with friends while the Moms discuss the following days field trip to a different park for some creeking and a picnic only to run to the rec center for break dancing class then scootering home to  stuff your papers that need to be delivered after dinner. See just day to day boring stuff.

No, we don’t live on a farm. That means I have to look for enriching things for us to do….catching and feeding monarchs before they migrate to Mexico for the winter: (Science, History, Geography, Math)

Watching the navy jump out of airplanes: (Physics, History)

Also, giving them lots of opportunities to cook, create, talk to professionals,  have pets to take care of, visit both local and different libraries, museums, local landmarks and traveling both near and far. (History, Math, English, Art, Science,Literature)

We are getting ready for a trip to Dog Island, off the coast of Florida. For us an event or a trip is the perfect reason to seek out information about things. We have gotten out maps to track our drive and globes to compare our little trip to the great big world. We have read countless  books on the ocean, coral reefs, tides and tidal pools, food chains and the gulf of Mexico. We have watched movies about sea turtles, dolphins and many magic school bus episodes on ocean life and water. We built our Galileoscopes and have our sky maps ready. This is all fun, enriching foot work that we often do before a trip to the apple orchard or camping at a local park. I learned that we don’t have to be boarding a plane or driving across the country to learn or experience something interesting, fun or real life.  But it certainly helps! This is real life learning. (For those that are looking for the learning, that’s-Science, Biology, Geography, Math, Astronomy, Literature)

Remember this post from about a year ago? (the part about all the buckeyes)   Well, a few weeks ago,  Molly shelled, drilled, purchased beads, created the necklaces, got change, biked to campus and sold $90 worth of those buckeye necklaces in less than two hours.  (For those that need to compartmentalize learning that’s-Art, Math, gym, shop)

Molly even gave her helper some money!

She  spent a good chunk of that money on an expensive Halloween costume. Yes, it made my stomach turn to see her dole out that much cash for a few hours of wear but it it is her money.  Of course I put my 2 cents in. But in the end it is her money and deciding when, where and how to spend it is also real life learning. She has a paper route so she has income coming in. She set aside money to spend on vacation and some more to purchase a hair straightener. Oh, and  don’t worry about her future because she puts half of her paper route check in a savings account!  I would say she is learning more than any text book could teach her. (Mucho Math)

Many schooled kids do these same things but homeschooling allows us more time for these learning  opportunities. We don’t have to cram them in when there is time. They are just part of our day to day lives.

Now, back to my husband. I sort of wear the educational pants in our family as my husband wears the financial pants. We may discuss things but the one with the knowledge makes the ultimate decision.  So Ginger going to school is completely out of the question! I may  halfheartedly support my older kids curiosity about school but not so much my early elementary grade kid. What could school possibly teach my wiggly 5 year old that she can’t learn by snuggling up with us reading books, playing games, painting, playing with friends, outside, inside and at parks and museums?   She is experiencing life first hand, with her family and friends. Not at a kindergarten level or in  a specific time frame. She is one lucky 5 year old!

Look–More science!!    See learning is everywhere!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes a quick trip way from the everyday is a little cure for what ails you.  Even the ailments you didn’t know you had!   Especially in the gray days of Winter and the too long month of Feburary.

This is the second year that we have gone to the Unschoolers Winter Waterpark Gathering (UWWG) held at Kalahari waterpark. I am not sure of the number of attendees but families came from all over the US and Canada.  Again a good time was had by all. It is always so nice to be around so many like minded people.  And it serves as such a great reminder to me to really accept, trust and love my children unconditionally.  It doesn’t matter what other people are doing, how they are homeschooling / unschooling or how we look or how they percieve us. What matters most is that I stay true to what is good for my family and reevaluating what works for us and what doesn’t work.

It is reaffirming to hear other families that have worried about the unschooling path they have chosen and have grown kids who are happy and successful. With happiness really being the ultimate success. Not all kids are college material, some will end up in a trade, some with a job, others have the entrpreneurial spirit. And some will go on to higher education. But taking away societies assumptions and expectations and living for what makes better sense for your family is not always an easy road to follow. It certainly helps to be around like minded people.  We are really lucky that here in Columbus not only is there a large homeschooling community but a large unschooling community also.

I attended a couple of discussions on unschooling led by some veteran unschoolers and a raw food demo. Bethany is a 17 year old who has found medical healing through her raw food diet. Her story was very inspiring and again re-affirming that a raw food diet is so healthy. Check out her story here.

But I found so much inspiration from her Mom’s discussion of living through her families crisis while homeschooling and realizing what was important in their lives and what wasn’t. Together,finding their way to a real life, hands on education and not one through school books was so wonderful to hear.

Our kids showed off some of their break dancing moves at the talent show.

There as lots of hanging out with both old and new friends!

And a rockin dance the last night of the conference.

I can’t wait until next year!!

What a way to start the new year! With an award!

Really, I am blushing. When Tina notified me that she had chosen PepperPaints to be the first blog to win this award, I was a bit surprised. Often I write a post and hit publish and off it goes into the world with out me.  So I am always surprised when someone contacts me to tell me they like my blog. It reminds me that people really do read my blog and , blush, even like it.

Like I said this is the first Marvelous Mommy award she has given out, but her blog MommyChats is not new. It’s a live chat community, open 24/7, just for Moms. Tina also a personal blog and a homeschooling blog. I would say she is a bit busy!! I can barely keep up with one!

Thanks, Tina!

This week is National Homeschool Hike And Bike week.  I know you all knew that and planned events in your cities too!  Just like we did!  Many families met at a park with bikes, scooters, skateboards and strollers.  We set off on the bike trail to hike and bike all in the name of homeschooling.  The weather was perfect as was the crowd.

These two crowds of large kids are a few of of the teens from our homeschool group.  They get bigger every week and they move in a pack.  On this day the pack decided not to participate in the festivities but to check out the river instead.  These teens have minds of their own and love to be together.  I am finding this to be a tricky time to be a parent.  The boundaries are stretched to the limit and friends take precedence over all else it seems.  Parts of parenting a teen are really enjoyable, having a discussion, laughing at the same jokes, working side by side, having a babysitter in the house!!  But these interactions are few as Jake heads out with friends, is on the computer or on the phone.  It all happened too fast- it seems as though those precious tween years lasted about 8.34 minutes.  Although in the thick of it I am sure I was thinking diferently.  Many of us parents were disappointed the teen group decided not to ride with us yesterday but that didn’t stop the rest of us from enjoying the day.

Even Cornelius Fudge joined us in honor of homeschooling!

I signed the girls and me up to do this. It is a Nature Journaling on-line class at Camp Creek Press. We have been looking at some books on making books and getting some ideas. I am thinking about a mini-nature journal as well as a few others. Maybe next week-bookmaking!
This has been a really busy week with extra outside activities added into our regular busy schedule. Yesterday we went rollerskating/blading. It is a monthly homeschool event that Molly has really come to enjoy. Luckily I found our old plastic, playschool, over the shoe skates in the garage for Ginger. She was in heaven, shuffling around that rink with the big kids.
Today was the monthly trip to an indoor sports facility to jump in bouncies and blow up slides, kick ball, soccer…..It is tons of fun for the kids and another chance for Moms to chat. Today I met a couple of new families.
We are really lucky in our neck of the woods to have so many homeschooling families. We have several homeschool groups; religious, secular, inclusive, unschoolers. All are very active. I can’t really imagine it any other way. Between the homeschool families from our La Leche League group to the Several families from Jake’s preschool class that went on to homeschool, we never felt isolated. It is so nice for our out side the box lifestyle choices to seem completely run of the mill with these people. And making new friends is always so exciting!
Tomorrow we are going to a local yarn shop for a drop spindle and spinning class. Sure to be a big hit!! I promise photos.

One last tid bit of info–This morning I found a link to this raw food site. It looks great and it is full of more links to check out. I was about 95 % raw from last March until just after Thanksgiving. I felt so great! Once the cold weather hit I dropped back to about 20% raw. It sure gets cold and damp here. But my husband bought me a food dehydrator for xmas so hopefully that will help this winter. Well now that Spring has sprung it is time to shed my winter coat. I am back to my raw eating habits and daily walking and I must say it feels good.

Tuesday is usually one of our busy days, but Ginger’s preschool is on break this week so that was one less thing. The big kids had circus today and then Molly had her art class. During the art class I get to hang out with my favorite, fellow homeschoolin’ Mama friends and drink really tasty chai. This really makes all the driving around and sitting around during various classes something to look forward to. Along with these Mama’s come their families too; big kids, litle kids, husbands. I like all of them just as much!
One of the things that I particularly love about homeschooling is that our kids are not age or sex segregated. For example, today Molly’s art class consisted of her closest homeschool friends; two 8 yr old girls, a 10 year old girl, and an 11 year old boy. The kids at the coffee shop were 20 month old twins playing with two 4 yr olds while a 12 yr old boy, 13 yr old boy and a 15 year old girl ran around the neighborhood. The big kids were there to help with the younger ones for a while as is the case whenever we have a homeschool activity. What a great opportunity for the big kids to be needed. We recently attended an unschoolers confrence and the presenter spoke of the importance of teens feeling like they are a contributing member of the family. Having the opportunity to mentor, teach and help out is a great way to do this. It’s also fun for the younger kids as well. Everyone likes to feel needed!
Socialization as homeschoolers is not a problem for us! They are interacting with babies to adults out in public as well as with people they know on a daily basis, while most kids are hanging out with kids there same age all day every day. That is just advantage #63.

This morning Ginger and I made this

GOOD MORNIN’ APPLE CRISP
7 med apples sliced (or more as they cook down)
1/2 cup dried cranberries or raisins
2 TB sugar (I use Sucanat)
2 cups Museli cereal or oats–I use oats
2/3 cup whole wheat pastry flour or if you want wheat free use brown rice flour
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (I use more)2 TB ground flax seeds (I use heaping)
1-2 tsp cinnamon (You guessed it-I use 2)
6 TB canola oil (I use Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
4 TB maple syrup

pre-heat 375 Lay apples and cranberries in lightly oiled 9×13 baking dish (I use the slicer side on my grater to slice the apples), Sprinkle with the sugar
Combine remaining ingrediants and press over apple mixture.
Bake 45 mins or until golden brown and hot and bubbly.

You can even serve this with whip cream and call it dessert!!
I even delivered some to Alissa at her new studio space, just like I promised!! Too bad Melissa wasn’t there-I gave her portion to our circus teacher. Maybe next week!!

Tomorrow newspapers to deliver, a friends bedroom to secretly decorate while they are at school, Jake to friends for working on a movie they are filming Me-checking blogs! Oh and laundry and dishes of course.