From where I am sitting I can see behind me, a favorite window seat. A place to perch, read a book and catch the afternoon sun that pours through the witches balls my family has gifted me each Christmas. A view of the garden my husband and I dug the first year we moved here. I can see the door most used by friends that stop by to visit. From here we often watch neighbors, strangers and dogs coming and going on their path to the park. The same path that I ran so many times in the last several months.
To my right is a buffet that holds linens used by both my Mother and my Grandmother,  two shiny silver lights that create just the right ambiance when lit, clay pieces my children have made and a drawer that holds bits and pieces of the past year in review.
To my left is the kitchen; the often messy and most used room in our home.  Countless meals prepared and shared here. But my view from this seat only allows a glimpse of that chaos. My eye is drawn straight to the window that overlooks my back yard. From here I can see trees and beautiful summer sunsets. I can hear the band play on crisp Fall mornings and the baseball team usher in the beginings of Spring.
And in front of me it is like a wide angle lens. The dinning room table scattered today with colored pencils, drawings, stuffed animals. The book shelf, full of knowledge; of books waiting to be read, project ideas jumping off the pages various markers and blank papers waiting to be filled.  A notebook recording 2009′s days,  pages scrawled and lists and appointments checked off.  Then there is the basket of clean laundry for five folded and waiting to be put away.
But again my eye is drawn past the chores. Now into my warm and comfortable living room. The room that holds so many possibilities. There are plenty more books in this room. There is music both recorded and waiting to be thumped out. There is a fireplace, art that I have shown in this past year and family photos preserved. The furniture is comfy as is the floor covered in an old family rug. An often joked about, over-priced, coffee table where games are  played. This room is inviting and both calm and busy at the same time.  My living room is eclectic.  There are disco balls hanging in front of an antique mirror that seems to pull me forward into the future yet reflects all that is behind me.  Plants full of life  and treasures picked up in places both near and far, serving as memories of past experiences. And just outside the set of double windows there is the tree house that our family and friend built together, a new trampoline and the sounds of happy children gathering in the sand box.

I am surrounded on all sides by beauty and comfort and the encouragement brought on by this past year.  But when I look beyond all of this, there is the future. One that fills me with anticipation. 2009 was a year of  progress for me personally.  It was a year that I stretched myself in ways I never imagined. It was a year that I took time out for myself. Because my children are a little older, I was able to move my focus away from the all encompassing  parenting of the past 14 years. It was a nice year, a busy year.

2010….sounds sci-fi almost. Hard to believe it is here. It is the now. I have plans. Plans to really embrace this year in a new but familiar way.  Simplify and return to what I know. A year of comfort and focus. A year  free of judgment and of what is “supposed to be”. A fresh yet reminiscent outlook. I am very comfortable where I sit but I plan to get up and move around  little. Maybe venture out  more and choose  a new seat from my familiar surroundings,   because where I have been is also where I am going. Welcome 2010!!!

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Post tags: afternoon sun, art, back yard, beautiful summer, book shelf, colored pencils, crisp fall, dinning room table, fall mornings, family photos, friends, husband, photo, photos, project ideas, summer sunsets, wide angle lens, window seat, year in review

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A bit of back ground info-I have a 14 yr old son, Jake,  who controls the car radio-so I listen to a lot of hip-hop. Every time they mention Lil Wayne, my husband and I have a tendency to act like we are cool and yell, “Lil Wayne, Lil Wayne, Lil Wayne’s in the house!” (I need a megaphone there so you can really hear how stupid we are!) And my son always tells us to “shut up!” in his 14 yr old brooding tone.

So on to my dream—Jake and I were at some fair or something and Lil Wayne was standing on a small platform stage with just a handful of people around. I turned to Jake and said, “Oh, Please, please can I do it?!!” He rolled his eyes and and said OK but walked way ahead of me so no one would know he was with me. And then I did it, I screamed, “LIL WAYNE,  LIL WAYNE,  LIL  W-A-Y-N-E’-S  IN  THE  HOUSE!!!!!!!!” and all the coool young, black, hip hoppers shook their fists at me and high fived me and said, “way to go Mamma!”

It was like a dream come true to be considered so cool by all those rappers. But as Jake reminds me…”it’s only your dream Mom.” Ahhhhhhhhhh

But I think Feckless Abby could have pulled it off…What d’ya think?

So how stupid are you? Let Abby know so she doesn’t feel so lonely!

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Post tags: friend, husband, Jake, walk

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I didn’t know that it would get easier, that my lungs would get stronger and I would not be gasping for air  three steps in to a 30 second run, that I would not over heat or explode,that I would not die of thirst or be stranded on the trail and not able to hobble home.  No one told me that it wouldn’t always be sooo hard. That I would find my breath and my rhythm.  Well-they did but I didn’t believe them. I was SURE that maybe everybody else could run…but not me. I hated the jiggly, heavy, tromping way my body felt when I  my feet hit the ground.  I was just not made or built to run. You see, I am not skinny. And I equated running with skinny people.

I was thin once in my life for about six or eight months. So thin in fact I shopped in the children’s department.  But that was a long time ago.  ( I am just over 5 feet tall so it’s not that far of a stretch to be in a small size) When my daily routine consisted of smoking, coffee, smoking, walking and eating salad and cereal. That was about 3 children and 15 years ago. Now I am healthy and sturdy. I am a pillow for lounging children and someone who has trouble buckling ski boots over her ample calves. Don’t take that the wrong way. I like the way I look. Sure I wish my belly was flatter or I was a few inches taller. But all in all, I am OK with my body. (You may remember a past post where I explained my image in my head doesn’t always match the image in the mirror or a photo of myself. I feel much better about the way I think I look. Call it denial, but it works!)

Anyways, back to running-Seven months seems like yesterday. Sure there was lots of pain, I had terrible shin splints some chafing. It really was only a few weeks ago that I realized that I finally shook the little voice that told me to turn around and go back home a few hundred yards after I started. It was a struggle to keep going when I heard that voice EVERY time I ran. I always thought about quiting a few minutes into the run. And worse if I skipped a day, I was sure my body would forget and I wouldn’t be able to run. I would be back at day one once again.

Then, one day soon after that voice in my head went away, I realized I actually liked running. I even looked forward to running . I tried to challenge  myself to run further and further.  And I could do it. Amazing! My body is amazing!  I am in awe of the fact that I can actually run 5 or 6 miles on any given day now. And that I am training for a solo- half marathon. (long story)  Really it seems like only yesterday that I was running for two minutes and walking for one. If  I can accomplish this anyone can.

So here is the OCD part. What I want to know-actually I find it fascinating-what rituals or routines (or in some cases obsessive compulsive disorders)  do you follow when you run?  For example-I only run in the morning after my coffee has jump started my colon. I brush my teeth, put my hair in a pony tail and take 2 tiny sips of water and then try to pee again.  I always  carry a stick or two of gum with me in my bra and I can’t stand to wear headphones because my ears get too hot and I get tangled up in the cords. I do the same 4 quick stretches, I follow the same route 95% of the time because then I can run on auto pilot.  I never think deep thoughts. I keep it light and relaxing. Today for the first time I carried a water bottle with me and it was OK!!  I know some runners do crazy things before they hit the trial!! What do you do?

Part of me-even with all the confidence I have gained in myself, still thinks that if I don’t follow my routine or do these “things” before or while I am running-I won’t make it. I will have to turn around and walk back home. But somewhere deep inside I know better…I think.?

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Post tags: calves, daily routine, friend, friends, husband, image in the mirror, lack of oxygen, lungs, walk

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I even got in on the fun, as did Abby’s shadow!!

After all that fresh air everyone was sufficiently tired and crabby. And when dinner time rolled around and I stuck to my guns of, “I’m done cooking dinner for a complaining crowd”  that I made the night before. Even more crabbing and crying and carrying on ensued. I let the little monkeys fend for themselves so that they will eternally appreciate my hard work of listing, shopping, chopping, preparing, serving and cleaning up the meals (that I rarely eat by the way!!) that at the very least, one kid each night, moans about. Did they learn their lesson? Probably not. Will I cook for them tonight? Probobly-although my husband thinks I should hold out. But it’s really hard for me to watch them eat “inappropriate dinner food.”  Not that a few days of that is going to kill them, but it makes me crazy!! Along with the crying and carrying during their own meal prep and clean up. Maybe some good headphones would help!

Anyways-during that time I made my self a really great raw dinner and dessert. I did share my raw choc brownies with them-BAD IDEA!! The almost 1 cup of cocoa in them must of had enough caffeine to fuel a large tanker, because they were bouncing around until 10:00, even after all that sledding!! So what do you do during all that bouncing? Play Candyland LIVE!!

But instead of using those cute, little, bow tied, plastic people we used ourselves!

Even if we do have bad, winter pedicure disorder!

There are colored pieces of paper taped to the floor through out my house!

I call the colors and the players move accordingly!! And it is no where near as excruciatingly long as the board game!! Especially when I cheat!!

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Post tags: board game, cooking, husband, photo, photos, RAW

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It was bad I know! But after a few hours yesterday and about an hour today, I manged to purge ALOT!

Plus a hand me down bag to a friend. At this point I must tell you that I buy 90% of our clothes second hand-and not at upscale consignment stores either. I prefer thrift stores that are packed floor to ceiling with hidden treasures. I love the thrill of the hunt! I occasionally buy things new-sometimes I splurge on really expensive things, like on the two new pairs of shoes I recently purchased, or the winter coat I bought three years ago. And sometimes I buy at Old Navy and Target. But the packed garbage bags that are headed back to the thrift store as a donation are filled with the many treasures I buy at the VOA or Salvation Army or my favorite Village Discount. For some, the great thing about shopping second hand is the savings, and I am no exception but really in the long run, because I buy so much, I probably don’t save as much as most thrift store shoppers. I posted awhile back about how I am not a simple person-and my closet confirms that story! But with some trimming of the fat…it looks a whole lot better!

I parted with lots of treasures, but one pair of old favorites will probably never leave my closet. Not on my butt nor in a donation bag. They will sit on my upper shelf, buried by things that now fit my 40 something year old figure.

Oh, if these cut offs could talk! They may utter the name, written in marker, on the inside of the front pocket, that is crossed out, to become the property of a younger brother. That younger brother would be my husband. Not long after we met in college, I claimed this pair of Sears plain pocket jean shorts. I wore them through every season. With tan legs in the summer and tights and long johns underneath them along with slouchy boots in the winter. It has been a few years since these fit me (comfortably). But they are a reminder of my youth. What once was. Something I may never part with.

I found a few strays in the mess too. I thought the combinations of these lost and found items were really funny!

On day one, I found-a ballon, a dice, a ticket stub, broken jibbet, a doll shoe, 2 hair clips, my drivers liscense I had to replace, my matching slipper covered in dog fur, an acorn top, one of Gingers old slippers (yea-the match is in the basement).

On cleaning day two, I found a headless doll, Some Kodak movies (Need to find a projector) and a pair of magic magnet rocks (Yeah! A pair).

My goal is to not bring tons of stuff back into that closet. I am going to try to be a little more thrifty!

As far as the creepy faces-well those apples are still wet. They are beginning to mold too. So into the compost bin they shall go.

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Post tags: closet, consignment, friend, Ginger, husband, shopping, Target, thrift, VOA

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First we rode The Rapid downtown…

We passed the usual looking scenes..

As well as a few new ones..

We visited The Great Lakes Science Center…

Also a new place to those that grew up in Cleveland.  We decided to share one of the best things about Cleveland with our friends; Murray Hill AKA Little Italy.

First we had the worlds best pizza at Anthony’s and then had the worlds best treats at Corbo’s.

I tried making these photos smaller-but they really deserved to be big!

Then we rolled back to our downtown hotel that overlooked Playhouse Square.

Of course there was swimming.

Monday was a day of disappointment.  First we headed to Edgewater Park for “a day at the beach.”  Never mind that I poo-pooed that beach choice the whole way there.  We NEVER went to that beach growing up.  It turned out you couldn’t use flotation devices there so we packed up and headed to my beach-in Willowick.  Well, remember how we learned about erosion back in school-my beach was a perfect example.  It is the beach of no more.  So we headed out to Mentor headlands where we all got sunburned and found lots of sea glass.  A memory-check!

Then we headed back to Shaker to eat at Best Steak (not me-just everyone else!!).  The sign said closed for a few days-but it looked much grimmer than a few days.  My poor husband was about brought to tears.  So we went across the street for the worst Chinese food in the dirtiest restraunt I have ever been in.  It didn’t help that husbands families other favorite deli, Sol’s, was gone too.  W hat were we thinking-we should have gone to Corky and Leni’s!

But now we are home and the reality of  my life here in Columbus is hitting me over the head.  I promise some crafty posts sometime soon!

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Post tags: Cleveland, clintonville, Columbus, Corbo, friend, friends, husband, little italy, Mentor, murray hill, park

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1. Where is your cell phone?  charging
2. Your significant other? redhead
3. Your hair? too long
4. Your mother? onlyonewordcontroling
5. Your father? finis
6. Your favorite thing? vacation, beach
7. Your dream last night? gone
8. Your favorite drink? starbucks lots of creamer
9. Your dream/goal? working photographer
10. The room you’re in?  my orange dinning
11. Your church? none
12. Your fear? death, sickness, widowhood
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Traveling
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you’re not? glamorous, fussy, punctual
16. Muffins? not really
17. One of your wish list items? macro lens
18. Where you grew up? clelveland-east side!!
19. The last thing you did? coffee
20. What are you wearing? shorts & T
21. Your TV? Small
22. Your pets? 1 old 1 smelly a few small all hungry
23. Your computer? loud and slow
24. Your life? full
25. Your mood? raring to go
26. Missing someone? no
27. Your car?  vw bus- sorry it’s new
28. Something you’re not wearing? I would lose in strip poker-see #20
29. Favorite store? thrift store
30. Your summer? great-wish it was never ending
31. Like(love) someone? kids, husband, dog
32. Your favorite color? green, purple, blue
33. Last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? last week
35. Who will repost this? uncertain

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Post tags: husband

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So today was a day of crafting.  Molly spent a good part of the day at the sewing machine.  They did some painting…

some dumping and cooking…

Too hot to cook…so egg salad is is on the menu…

But not for me!!  I am going OUT for free Wifi and ladies night..woohoo!

And come to think of it…I actually I used my spine 1 1/2 times in the last 24hrs.  Yesterday we found 2 kittens outside our library.  The animal lover (sucker) that I am took the babies home..just until we decided what to do with them.  I never really wanted 2 more cats!!  But of course my kids were crying and making lots of promises.  I couldn’t make a decision…so my husband came home made a few phone calls and asked me what I thought and I said, “Take them away”  I had a very upset 9 yr old girl for many hours and thought I was a horrible parent, cuz they can guilt me real easy like that!!  But not a mention was made today of those kittens-I am so glad we didn’t keep them!!-So there is my 1/2 a spine story.

Oh my-I was upgraded and now I  have no spell check…Dawn??

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Post tags: cooking, husband, Molly, Paint, sewing, unschool

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Molly was really busy!! She plans on changing her jewels throughout the day! And finally Ginger’s “foot necklace” (ankle bracelet).

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Post tags: Ginger, husband, Molly, park, walk

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It was a beautiful day for strawberry picking and eating and picking and eating….

And for picking peas

And by late afternoon it was one of those days when I  want to run far, far away from my children.  It doesn’t happen too often, thank god, but when it does it makes for a long day.  The fighting, crying, arguing, testing and what really got me yesterday ; the rudeness, selfishness, meanness.  I was even down one child for a few hours and I was still brought to tears of frustration.

I ask very little of my kids, which is part of the problem, so when there is an opportunity for them to help out I stupidly expect them to, if not willingly volunteer, at least unbegrudgingly help upon request.  These are not characteristics that I can change with a word and my impatient self can’t think of ways to discourage these attitudes for the long haul. I just wanted to wake up today with a bright look on a new day, with different kids but so far it ain’t lookin’ to be that way.   I am all ready annoyed at the prospects of the day and I only have my “easy” kid up and about so far.  It is already after 8 am as I sit on this time sucking computer and I still have 2 bags of strawberries to contend with among all the other day to day grind.  Part of it is my pessimistic attitude that needs some regular exercise and partly the results of an extremely laid back parenting approach.

So what do I do?

I will now walk out of this house into the park behind me with my camera in hand for a mini vacation and re-focusing.  I will return shortly to 3 kids, that I am hoping my husband, who has taken a little extra time home this morning, will have straightened out a bit. And if that’s not the case, I will muddle through one more day, because tomorrow is Thursday-and on Thursdays days all is right in my world.  At least from 1:30 until bed time my outlook on life is sunny.  And it seems to carry me through till at least Monday when I may once again be ready to give my kids away to the nearest taker.

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Post tags: camera, husband, park, Thursdays, walk

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