Earlier this summer I was invited to a  pre-party of our local libraries summer reading program. My kids have always participated in this program. We are a family of readers so it is really a no brainer for us. Reading = get free stuff. Yet,  I didn’t go to the pre party because really in theory I am totally against the idea of rewarding kids with tokens and or coupons for reading. Yes=I am a bit of a party pooper. No, I don’t over analyze everything and get on my soap box tooting my horn at every main stream activity! But I saw this post on Controversial Summer Reading Programs and it gave me just the nudge I needed to finally come out of the closet.

Now, don’t get me wrong I LOVE our library and I especially love my local branch.  We visit our library as well as other neighborhood libraries often. We rely on our library and appreciate all they do for us. But I just can’t get comfortable rewarding kids (or adults) for reading.  I didn’t (still don’t) want my librarians to know this-I am embarrassed to admit this to them. I just don’t have very high hopes that they could even begin to understand my reasons. They see me as one of their best patrons and I feel like I am letting them down by knocking  their attempts to get kids into the library and reading more. Rewards for this, rewards for that, rewards for reading over the summer too?  There must be a better way.

I don’t live in the dark-I realize that most every family  lives by these arbitrary rewards.  ( Some may even try to call them incentives.)  Homes and schools are run this way; allowance for chores, stickers for pizza parties, candy for potty training, money or presents for good grades.   I call them –just another way to coerce kids into doing what adults want. It’s all a cover up kids!!

Back to reading programs–It is true that these programs start off working as an incentive to read or at least to check out more books. (which is great for libraries–higher circulation is a primary goal of libraries. Higher circulation = more money)  Kids gear up by visiting the library and checking out lots of books and that is a great thing! Then  for 20 minutes–(checking the clock the whole time) they/you  read a book and then get to mark off a square. How many times do they bring that sheet to you asking, “Can I mark off another one? Can you read some more—-so I can mark off another one?”  See what I am getting at? It may seem like it’s all for the love of reading but it’s not–it’s for the love of filling in the stupid square and the the stupid free bookmark or  book bag or back pack that they are rewarded for finishing the summer reading program. How many parents get pissed off and just tell their kids–”Fine! Just mark off 1 square!”  *(clue #1 -kids know if they finish quickly they will get their reward)

I wonder if this reading enthusiasm wanes after they get that backpack?  We hope not-we hope the Summer reading Program turns kids into “readers” but it is doubtful that book marks and bike raffles are going to have that lasting effect on young readers.* (clue #2-once kids get there prize they are not keeping up the frantic reading pace) There is an alternative.  Really, you can avoid all those yucky feelings about keeping track of the chore called The Summer Reading Program.

As I said earlier–We are readers and my kids participate in the summer reading program and yet I am against rewards for reading. But I have a sneaking suspicion other families are going about filling in there squares a little differently than we are. As  readers, we read books, the newspaper, magazines, listen to books on tape as well as podcasts. We read while on the computer and while playing games and writing out lists or following directions both in the car at the grocery and while texting and while cooking.  These same encounters with reading are happening in your family too I bet. Reading is reading. Not just when you set the timer and read from a book.  Sort of how you can’t stop learning new things, and how school isn’t the only place to learn them. Well the summer reading program, like schools leads you to believe that reading occurs in a box  and rewarding this not only takes the enjoyment out of it but it belittles the sheer act of reading by placing an extrinsic reward on it.  I know I am a party pooper! I love a good book and totally love snuggling up with my kids to share a story. And I am all for that kind of reading too!! (I know there is a difference between reading a book and day to day literacy) But for us, ALL reading counts towards those little squares. If my kids ask if they can fill in a square I always say of course you can! See, it doesn’t matter if the timer was set or the reading was taken from a library book. You can feel just fine in saying “Yes to the square”–it’s not cheating. Use it as an opportunity to show your kids just how much they are reading. Probably more than you and they think!

So, we don’t keep track of how long my kids read from a book that someone else deems as legitimate reading material and thinking I need to make sure my kids are following the rules of the program or keeping it secret that I let little Johnny fill in a few extra squares (even though we quit reading at 15 minutes instead of 20).  In the end it is all about the prizes for the kids. Yes, they may be reading more for a short time during the summer but isn’t there a better way other than tricking them into it? And why does reading have to be a competitive sport? Isn’t it meant for totally selfish purposes?! Getting the facts and pure enjoyment?

I am not fooled by these programs–we read all the time. We feel fine filling in the squares and taking advantage of the coupons that we can use to get good stuff! I don’t use these programs to coerce my kids into pressured reading for extrinsic rewards. If you think I am batty-which is fine-you can check out what best selling author, Alfie Kohn has to say on the subject!! There are studies that prove these reward based programs are even hurting your summer reading program participants.

Can’t libraries offer new and exciting programs to lure kids in. Come on–get with the times. Kids read while playing video games!! Bring in some game designers and pull some of those books off the shelves. No, they may not be the classics but they are full of words and kids like them! Have an American Girl Summer Reading Club complete with doing some of the crafts from the books-reading the directions as well as the stories. Have a skate boarding or break dancing demo with those non fiction books pulled as well as those that lead the demo share some of their favorite books.  Have a rapping story time. Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Comic book writers could hold a workshop also. ( I am full of ideas if you want to hire me!!!)

I know there is so much more that is behind those little boxes that I don’t have answers to. Not all kids  live in literacy rich homes. But really , it is just not right to give kids stickers for reading. Don’t be fooled by thinking success equals a high number of participants and circulation. Don’t be fooled that these programs are producing kids that love to read. Maybe these summer readers are really fooling you-

*clues #1 and #2 show just how kids know how to work this rewards system

Taken from Enjoy Life Unschooling’s April blog carnival theme

This months theme is “To Open”.

• The name April is of Latin origin, and its meaning is “to open”.
• What does that mean to you?
  
• What doors do Radical Unschooling open?
• How have you “opened” since discovering unschooling?

Have fun, get messy, make mistakes

What does open mean to me?           To be ready to experience things that come my way. To let go of preconceived ideas and notions of things or the way things “should be.” Not letting fear run my life.  This is something I have to work on everyday. Acceptance of things the way they are.  This is hard for me because I like to be in control. It is comforting for me. In some ways this is a really good trait. I am organized and love taking care of details. But I can go overboard too.  Yet, the more I let go and open myself up the easier it is becoming to really live in the moment and trust that things will work out the way they are meant to.  I don’t have to try to control everything to go my way. What a relief!

What doors do Radical Unschooling open for me?          Most of my control is just an illusion but still a comforting one.  So I get how hard the idea of unschooling is for some people. Just the idea of letting go of all that control you think you have is really hard. But when I do let go, little by little it becomes easier to free myself of so much baggage.  I can really see  and feel who I really am. Not who I was” supposed to be” or how my neighbors see me or who friends think I am. But who I was meant to be.                                                                                                                                                                            Learning to let go of the seeming control I had over my kids has been huge! Fighting over arbitrary rules because I thought that they were necessary. Doing things just because everyone else was and what would they think if we didn’t?!  How awesome that my kids can have this true love and acceptance now. They don’t have to wait until they are adults to lose all kinds of crap; assumptions and expectations that were put upon them  just to  eventually find themselves—the selves they were born to be.  They were born to be just who they are supposed to be  until we try to change them to fit a mold to make things run seemingly smoother.  I say seemingly because now I know how much easier  an unschooling life is.  How much easier it is to live life on our terms everyday instead of the school systems way or our parents way or the mainstream way.  Our life is not an illusion. It is everyday real!

How have I opened since discovering unschooling?           Unschooling has opened this path for me. The real trust that you have to find and develop to unschool has opened my family up to so many possibilities. To choices I never knew were there. We really are free to make decisions, not coerced or biased decisions but what we really want. And we can do that because we are open to support and trust each other.                                                                                                                    And now to show just what an unschooling geek that I am:  I relate everything in my life to unschooling. It is so weird how I find evidence everyday, multiple times, that shows me just how right and perfect this unschooling path is. I hear a story on the radio or I read something,  I see someone loving what they are doing.  All things that don’t have anything to do with unschooling per say–but somehow I can find a link. Just another way unschooling has opened me up to hearing and seeing more and more just how natural unschooling really is—ok I’ll stop now! (I told you I was a geek)

I tried to fix the funny spacing–(that isn’t there on purpose)–but the spaces aren’t on my draft-sorry.

Where to start?! The media is, well the media. They are a business.  They feature stories that will boost ratings.  They use shock value  to stir up attention and in turn receive more viewers.

So why we are surprised by  both the Good Morning America and the  Discovery Health reports on Unschooling?  They are typical examples of  biased reporting.  Both were short segments filled more with shock value than facts and true glimpses into real unschooling.

Mainstream America just doesn’t get Unschooling. They aren’t going to.  For heavens sake only about 25% of American adults have a face book account. I thought everybody was on face book! So imagine how the majority of the world could possibly understand Unschooling?  Especially with the shows that Discovery Health and Good Morning America put out. Yet, it is so easy for me to forget that we are radical. It is so easy for me to forget that my family is so different than almost everybody else.

Partly because I don’t reflect the mainstream and haven’t for so long.  I have my own  fairly large community that I identify with. I belong to a food co-op and rarely shop at Kroger and I love my public radio station where they don’t play anything you have ever heard of. —–That’s weird…… Yeah, I guess.  I recycle, compost, use cloth napkins, shop at the thrift store and line dry my clothes—-Oh, your one of those hippies!….. OK.  My kids don’t go school—-Oh, you homeschool? Will you always do that? Do they socialize with other kids? ……No,we Unschool—— Huh?????? Like those crazy people on TV? Did you see that, they let their kids eat donuts for breakfast—– That is main steam media for you!

I don’t sit round and think about how different we are. We just live. We aren’t purposeful in every move we make. We aren’t living for “the unschooling movement.” We don’t look different. We don’t walk or talk differently. (well maybe a little differently   ) Our daily life is pretty uneventful to the outside world. We get up and go about our day just like everyone else. Only we have learned a little secret that seems so unfathomable to the rest of the world.    Choice

We all have them. Really we do have  choices in everything we do. Yes, some choices make life harder than others but  we have choices in life. And as Unschoolers we have made many, many unpopular choices.

Kids don’t have to go to school–gasp! They don’t have to get up at a certain time of day to be productive—gasp! They don’t even have to be told to learn!  No, really, it’s just automatic. Adults may think they have control over what kids are leaning but kids and adults everywhere are learning ALL THE TIME!

I googled learning and Wikipedia gave me this: (from a very mainstream source even!)

Learning is a process you do, not a process that is done to you. Traditional education focuses on teaching, not learning. It incorrectly assumes that for every ounce of teaching there is an ounce of learning by those who are taught. However, most of what we learn before, during, and after attending schools is learned without it being taught to us. A child learns such fundamental things as how to walk, talk, eat, dress, and so on without being taught these things. Adults learn most of what they use at work or at leisure while at work or leisure. Most of what is taught in classroom settings is forgotten, and much or what is remembered is irrelevant

1. ^ Russell L. Ackoff and Daniel Greenberg (2008), Turning Learning Right Side Up: Putting Education Back on Track (pdf) HTML. Retrieved February 18, 2010.
2. ^ Greenberg, H. (1987), “The Art of Doing Nothing,” The Sudbury Valley School Experience. Retrieved February 18, 2010.
3. ^ Mitra, S. (2007) Sugata Mitra shows how kids teach themselves (video – 20:59). Minimally Invasive Education, Retrieved February 18, 2010.

These choices we have made are hard. And Unschooling is a journey of sorts. The vast majority of unschoolers did not wake up one day and decide to make all of these radical choices in one day. But it is easy to forget that.

Beginning with following your heart and letting go of what other people think. It’s your life –who care’s what other people think.  Really–let that go and be the real you. We only have one this one life to live. Live it the way you want to.

Then giving up  the ” should do’s”  and the  “have to’s”.   Really question why you are doing things. Do you really want to? Or are you just doing them because you should do them? What will really happen if you don’t do them? Can you live with that result? Can you make a different choice to get the end result you want?  Then make your decision based on that. It  is a process.  These choices we have made seem so normal and automatic to us now that sometimes we forget how the other 99% of the world is living.  There really are so few have to’s in our lives but we assume that we must do way too many of them. Don’t follow blindly. I want to make my life just what I want it to be. And fill it with what I want. You can to. You have a choice.

So to the outside world our life may seem uneventful but really it’s just the opposite. Really we are choosing to exercise our choices. We aren’t living lives full of have to’s. We are living fully everyday. Not just on the weekends or when we go on vacation. Not just when we have time. And you can too. You have a choice–to put your kids in school or homeschool or really trust yourself and  live your one life freely and Unschool.

We have been a little busy around here hunting for eggs and eating chocolate so my posts are a bit behind. This week on our strewing table I set up a little letter and card writing station because April is National Card and Letter writing month. And who doesn’t love to get some mail???

I made a stop at our Dollar Store and picked up some pretty Spring paper, blank cards, envelopes and some colored index cards. I filled a desk organizer and added in some pens and pencils.

I also bought some alphabet wall stickers at the Dollar Store. Ginger still often asks not only how to spell words but what letters look like. “Mom, what’s a “Y” look like” And often times it’s not so easy as “A “V” on a stick.”  So the visual is a great help!And cheap and temporary.

And because it’s so much fun when the real mail man leaves something in the mail box for you—-I have sent my kids some mail that they should be receiving any day now!

Now a little bit about reading and writing and choices and unschooling.

My 11 year old is dyslexic. Yes an unschooler with a label. It’s OK with me. Because all that it means is she learns and see’s things differently than most people. She needs help reading and spelling. I knew something was up when she just couldn’t sing the alphabet at 6. No biggie really but just one of the first things I noticed. We had a quick, free evaluation done and they suggested dyslexia and more expensive testing. We rushed home read all the reccomended books, started the make the very expensive appointments that all had waiting lists months long. Then I spoke to a nice man at a resource center one day and he mentioned that all that expensive  psycho testing would tell us that yes she is dyslexic and you can try X or Y to try to “fix” it. So we should just save our money and just try X or Y.(Because according to the “experts” there really is only X or Y).

So we tried some tutoring from a local self titled reading doctor that ended up being a horrible experience-I would like to just wipe it out of my memory. She is crazy in the reward, coercion, punishment crazy sort of old school way!!! I will not speak of her. Done.

The X “cure” was Orton Gillingham tutoring. In other words $$$ tutoring. But an organization in our area offered free tutoring. Excellent. IF you have an actual diagnosis. Which we didn’t have because we canceled all of our expensive appointments. I talked to my friend who is a psychologist for our school system and she told me to call and set up free testing through the school system. As a tax payer-those services are available to me. To make a long story short-the tests were long and grueling for Molly. When we met for results (words like severe and profound were used) and the school system realized we had no intention of using their schools they very happily handed over the dyslexia diagnosis. This is something they just do not do. Because they do not treat specific learning disabilities they always diagnose to what they can help or teach–non specific learning disability.  So-we got our “dyslexia label” and called about the free tutoring-only there was a 1 year waiting list. But I was promised that this place was so great that they could “cure” Molly of her “problem.”

So in the mean time we met with a Kindergarten  teacher to tutor Molly once a week. Molly loved meeting with her. She was young and hip and in the summer time even came to our house 3 mornings a week to read and play literacy games with Molly. Then we got the call…the experts had room for her.

We began the free tutoring this past fall on a bad note. The reading center is completely un-child friendly. It is stark, boring and very unwelcoming. The women who run the place are cold and stuffy. So immediately there was that hurdle.Yet  Molly’s tutor was wonderful. She was fun and nice and warm and everything the center was not! But she had a teacher that she worked under and the teacher often sat in on the sessions offering Molly’s tutor suggestions and would push Molly to try harder. The directors were not very encouraging-they scolded me for waiting so long to begin “The Program”,  “She is profoundly, severely dyslexic”,  they were sure to inform  me on several occasions . Really–she doesn’t have an incurable, life threatening disease ladies. Never working on her strengths but harping on her weaknesses.  The twice a week-middle of the day- tutoring sessions were becoming more and more stressful for both Molly and myself. She didn’t want to go and called it stupid. I had a bad attitude that I could no longer hide for the sake of a “cure.” The last straw came on a day in January that our regular tutor was ill and the teacher tutor sat in for her. This woman told me Molly’s handwriting was barely legible.

I hated her. I hated the fact that Molly always took such pride in her handwriting and now they found something else “wrong” with her. I could barely speak-I told the woman “Molly has beautiful handwriting” and she just walked away from me.  That was the last tutoring session we had at that center.

Soon after I attended a discussion on right brained learners led by Cindy at Apple Stars.  After hearing Cindy speak, I knew we had made the right choice. If you ever have a chance to attend one of her talks, I highly recommend attending! If you have a right brained learner–she will make you cry. She is wonderful! And so full of positive information. She also has a Yahoo group for right brained learners that you may want to check out. Her blog is full of info for living with right brained learners. Trusting them, following their lead and meeting them where they are. All of these things are so important with any child-not just one who doesn’t fit in the box. Yet it sure makes life easier and much more enjoyable when you don’t try to squish a pear through a key hole.

Yes-it is super hard to be an unschooler and address a learning differently child-I wrote earlier that I don’t mind the label because it gives me a starting point at how to help Molly. But I won’t let it define her. And I think this is exactly what was happening with all the tutoring. It was becoming the center of our week. And it was feeling yucky. Molly has so many gifts and talents that are far beyond those of us that can read. So we are really concentrating on letting her thrive in those areas. That is wear her interest is so that is how she will learn to read and spell.  Setting up and strewing a card and letter writing station like this gives her a chance to show off her beautiful handwriting. Right now we are taking the focus off of what she can’t do and putting the spotlight on ALL that she can do. And it is so much. Dyslexia is just a small part of her.

Just when I started feeling comfortable referring to myself as an unschooler or even a radical unschooler, I have decided to pull back, retreat if you will. I love the authentic ideas and practice of unschooling / radical unschooling (RU). I love talking about it and reading about it. What I don’t love is someone, somewhere deciding if I am “doing it right.”  That is what held me back from outwardly identifying myself as an unschooler for so long–the judgment—John Holt wrote and spoke about unschooling then a few interpreted it and THEY decide if we are doing it right or wrong? I don’t like that.

Maybe it’s not even really that. Because I do understand for clarity sake that you don’t call yourself an unschooler and then make your kid wear a coat because YOU think it’s cold or you coerce your kids into doing what you want etc…I have been judgmental in the past too. Deciding if Mrs A is really an unschooler when she is telling me about her kids having to do just a little bit of school work or Mrs. B’s kids only being “allowed” a certain amount of screen time, sleep time etc…Who cares ? Who am I to judge? And why spend my time or focus my energy doing that? Good way to turn people off to unschooling!

Yet really what is important here is me, my family and what I am doing. I don’t need to be concerned what my neighbors family is doing and what they are calling it. I think taking the judgement away  just allows us to be-and be authentic to what is important to our family-not the unschooling movement. Yeah-this is going to make me unpopular. Because believe it or not-even in  unschooling-even the virtual unschooling world-there is a hierarchy and it is very clickish. It’s  sort of like… hmmm… school! Or the lifestyle we are trying to separate ourselves from by making these radical choices.

I have a problem with the amount of respect that is supposed to be extended to children in this movement yet it is definitely not always extended in the same way to adults.  I can say, ” Oh who cares!”  to a lot and nothing directly happened to me to cause me to write this post. But I am seeing a holier than thou attitude on line and I don’t want any part of that. Sure I may sport a bumper sticker that claims, MY UNSHOOLED STUDENT WILL HIRE YOUR HONOR STUDENT and I have been taken to the mat for it by a fellow unschooler and good friend. My defense may be “Lighten up-it’s a joke.”  I haven’t even thought about that conversation again until I started writing this-but if that bumper sticker connects me to those that are making unschooling an exclusive dogmatic religion-than I don’t really want to call myself an unschooler.

Maybe it’s all in a name or the label. I want unschooling support and I want to be able to give unschooling support but don’t know if I want to call it unschooling if that label causes exclusion. So maybe just saying we are living an authentic life is a better fit for me. You can call yourself whatever you want-it shouldn’t concern me. Reformed unschoolers?  I know this ‘name calling” was hashed out earlier this year (and probably several other times). People want a sense of belonging, a village, to find their people. And a way to that sense of community is sometimes in a name because the name identifies the groups ideology as a whole. Maybe an off shoot would be a better place for me to lend and get support. I know in one breath I am saying I shouldn’t care what the neighbors think and in the next I am renaming and starting a different branch. I think it is  still my need for support with in my own comfort level-so I am also being exclusive too I guess. Although, I would rather see it as inclusive. Semantics? Maybe.

I used to read a few unschooling lists when we first started unschooling. I remember being sort of unnerved and scared off by some of what I read. It seemed that some of the “authorities” on unschooling were very judgmental and harsh in their response to on line questions and scenarios. So I turned away from those lists, found some local support and my own way to unschooling. I have since re joined some lists and now that the virtual world is almost more popular than the real world with lists, blogs, facebook and twitter all wanting to give you what you need, it is really easy to get pulled into this exclusive, negative dogma part of unschooling. The message hasn’t changed much. The same self appointed authorities are still rudely ruling the lists. I swear not all unschoolers are like this-if you have read these lists and blogs and are turned off -you are not alone!! It all seems so religious to me-the dogma, the preachers the exclusion. So separatist.

So-I’m out. Wanting to be part of the in-crowd and bring hits to my blog isn’t being very authentic. I am moving off line a bit and back to my in person, real life. Spending too much time reding what I am supposed to do in what “everyone else” is doing instead of just following my heart and spending time with family and friends. I got what I needed from those lists and unschoolers and now I am choosing to take what I like and leave the rest behind-not a popular idea in the radical unschoolers world! (The all or nothing, black and white world.)  I am choosing to be true to my family and not an idea. I know I am not the  only “unschooler” who feels this way and when others have tried to voice this opinion they have been flamed and kicked off lists. Whatever. I am very lucky to have in real life support. I just hope I can extend the authenticity and acceptance that I seek  to others as well.

I have been listening to Amy Childs Whatever, Whatever Amen podcasts. I love them-I can’t listen to them fast enough or find the time to listen to all of them. But they are powerful, uplifting and POSITIVE. They send a happy message. The podcasts speak more to living an authentic life and no so much to labeling your whole life unschooling (although she certainly talks about and uses the term unschooling ). If you are looking for a more positive spin on this lifestyle I encourage you to listen.

I much prefer Amy’s way of sharing the authentic life

I have so much running through my brain after reading many negative responses to last nights airing of Radical Parenting on Discovery Health. I am speaking particularly on the Radical Unschooling segment. 20 minutes on TVsure can whip up a lot of opinions!! There was obvious editing and “the experts” were obviously from the other much more traditional side of parenting (and didn’t back up there expert opinions with any facts).

For those who watched and are now leaving negative  comments on Radical Unschooling all over the place here is some basic information (which many of you seem to be lacking) Radical Unschooling is a way of life, not just an educational choice. Just like someone who is catholic isn’t just catholic on Sundays at mass or a vegetarian only at dinner.  And just like those families that aren’t unschooling, learning is happening all the time. ALL THE TIME. You can’t not learn. Your brain never shuts off. So even those that choose another type of education or lifestyle-you’re still learning all the time too. So don’t give those teachers all the credit!

Radical Unschooling has little to do with school-we don’t “do” school. We (along w/ our kids because we too are learning all the time) learn by living. We read, play games, visit museums, libraries, cook, garden, investigate.  These are the  things more traditional families consider learning opportunities too- you plan trips around this stuff, you do it on the weekends you look back on these experiences with fond memories. We do it everyday.  All those things that are just part of everyday life are learning opportunities  too (grocery shopping -the list making, price comparison, budget making, reading labels…). When we need to know something we find the answers-ask someone, look it up, take a class. We are in charge of our learning. Anything you want to know the answer is out there for you to find. You don’t have to sit in a class room for 12 yrs! Go find the answer yourself.

As a parent it is my job to expose my kids to as much stuff as I can. You never know what will spark an interest. And that interest will lead to more in depth learning-be it dinosaurs, robots, computers or biology. Who are we to say what is important enough to learning and what isn’t. And for those that need it clarified-our learning is well rounded. example….Susie loves rocks. Everywhere she goes she picks them up. So as a parent I plan trips to find good rocks. We look up some places on the internet, we get books out from the library-(reading, english) We pick a place to go (geography, math, science) We go there and dig (earth science) We identify our rocks and figure out why these types of rocks are different than the ones we picked up on our trip out west.(more science, english, math, geography)  And it goes on and on. All the time.  Not just on Saturdays or in the evenings.  Not only in the 4th grade because that’s when you study rocks. And not only for a week because now you have to learn about something your not interested in because your course of study has been pre determined by people who know what and when and how in depth you will be learning certain things.  That is the “school” part of Radical Unschooling.

I say it is a lifestyle because we are not telling our kids what to learn or how to learn it. They are deciding and as a parent I am helping when they need it, yet putting “stuff” out there all the time (with no expectations ). We are respecting there choices. We are trusting them to listen to themselves. I am not telling my kids to put a coat on because it is cold or go to bed because I say it’s time for you to be tired. That’s not to say we don’t have a bed time routine-teeth brushing, jammies, reading books, lights down low. But as an example my 11 yr old, after all of that last night, stayed up watching an animation tutorial on the computer after I fell asleep.

Yes, Sarah Parent read something on the show for one of her kids-If your husband said to you”What does that say” would you stand there and quiz him or just read it for him. There will be loads of opportunities for kids to read-it is an unavoidable part of life. More than 90 % of the population learns to read on their own. Exposure is key!

I think the main difference is an unschoolers definition of success. Success to us would be our children growing up to be happy. Happiness trumps all-sorry! If you are happy working at McDonalds-excellent! Working there fills a need-people like burgers and fries and somebody needs to make em and serve em! If you are happy being a plumber-great! I bet you learned that on the job didn’t you? If you are happy going to college-great. Glad your choice of higher education is working out for you.

One comment I read said it is our job to make sure our kids don’t think they are the center of the universe! What??-why not???  My kids, my family are the center of my universe! They are special and perfect to me. They should be honored and valued as such so that they have the confidence and love for themselves to be the best possible human being they can be. The world will teach them disappointment- it is part of life. I don’t feel the need to knock them down (figuratively) so they get used to it and know what it’s like.

Ok-I have to go-this was typed out super quickly-so don’t judge unschooling by my typos or anything grammatically incorrect. I don’t even have time to read through it a second time!

It ended up being dinner for 2 tonight, so I made it extra special….because she ‘s worth it!

Wednesday night on Discovery Health at 8:00PM there is going to be a Radical Unschooling piece as part of a Radical Parenting episode. Sarah Parent of Clan of Parents and her family were filmed to be part of the show. Her blog has more details on the filming process.

I am still floating around on my post conference high! I am re-reading Deschooling Our Lives and I just picked up Nurture Shock and Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves from the library tonight. I am also LOVING these podcasts called Whatever, Whatever Amen!!! Our local unschooling group is getting together so we can  watch this Astra Taylor lecture together and discuss it. I have already watched it once-it is long but well worth it. Very inspiring!!

Any body have any other recommendations for unschooling books, blogs, podcasts or websites I should be checking out?